Meh... It's a uni-tasker. I'd invest the money in a real switchblade. Once you start waving around a real switchblade, people will do just about anything for you, like open your beer.

I had a crappy typewriter that didn't even have a 1, because fuck it, they figured you could use a lower-case L instead.

Hmm, so now pretentious writings can be written in a pretentious visual style. Genius! Get yourself a cravat and it's the trifecta!

Dude, you can always write $1 checks. [dusting off hands, proudly]

But can I use it to get my stock quotes and to send emails of the kids to grandma?

My kingdom for a Sausage McBrain with cheese.

Flaw in your comment: There is no updated understanding to be had about the petty man in outer space. What we've been told about him has been pretty much the same unevolved nonsense from day 1.

Plurals look funny with apostrophes too. :P

That's weird. The Situation seems like such a nice guy.

I've always said that the biggest problem with books is that they become completely illegible when they turn upside-down. I'm glad that Apple had the vision to conceive of a way for a "book" to right itself. I'm sure next year they'll figure out how to keep water in a glass! Thanks for fixing my life, Apple.

This guy. End of story.

"See life in a different light with cochlear implants!"

The government puts nano-trackers in the fluoride that they're pouring into the drinking water.

I'm with ya on that. Sounds so bizarre to me. I've gotten out of a lot of traffic tickets and even felonies, simply by being polite with cops.

Goddamn, that lens he's using keeps making me think he's about to fall off the bridge! My palms are sweaty! (Yeah, yeah, I'm on my way, Fleshbot...)

No. (Yes.)

Didn't the Anarchist Cookbook suggest smoking banana peels for an alleged mind-altering experience? What horseshit! But I also feel like I got a legit recipe for black powder from that book...

Man, now grandma can receive the email pics of the tots, plus her sports scores and stock quotes SOOOO much faster! She'll be LOLing at the internet jokes and making wishes at the ASCII angels faster than any of her contemporaries!!

Yeah, like, how do you craft the gradually sloping "wings" of the destroyer, and how do you create all of the intermediate grey jazz that looks like pipes and ports and tubes and bays and tanks and crap that you'd expect to see in between the sloping "wings" of the destroyer? Is this a kit or something? Are the…

Wow, *that* old tome... I wonder how much of what's discussed in the current version of the Anarchist's Cookbook is legit or useful.