I was PLANNING on going as Natalie Portman's Black Swan character, but the weather in Chicago today has me rethinking how practical that would be...

Great diagram! extra appreciation points for using the word "weeny."

Oooh do tell!

Simple, but I laughed.

There's always a silver lining :)

I'm not sure about the cost factor, since insurance greatly varies from person to person, but I'd recommend the nuvaring (only $15 with my crappy insurance) or the patch (had different, better insurance at the time, but probs cheap) if the pill doesn't jive with you. It's a miracle I never got pregnant on the pill…

I found a centipede in my bed last week...so the ratings hit a little too close to home. I'll just be tossing out my raisin bran and newspaper, kthxbai.

THANK YOU. I completely agree.

I didn't think that was possible but DAMN did she prove me wrong.

I think you're right—a little disclaimer that everyone is different should be standard. And I'd like to think that because I have boobs (no matter the size), it would occur to me that everyone is different.

I don't know why it should have occurred to her. Not everyone is the same size, but if this works for some people, then that's great. There have been sub-group specific posts before, about hair or acne or makeup and nobody was irritated by those. If Jessica was the only person writing this column, then I would…

Right?! Took the words right outta my mouth.

Pleeeaaaaase someone tell me they thought of the Ab Abber 2000 (sharpie abs) when Margaret mentioned the drawn-on abs.

Oh girl, when you said was chorizo all I thought was "mmm"

:D great name!

Did no one else see this and think of trichomoniasis? Really?

I'm surprised that I've never stopped to think about this before, especially since my mom often refers to absent fathers as sperm donors (I think she picked it up from Dr. Laura but I'm not sure).

It's actually kind of funny—it's like you keep confirming that you're still laughing.

I definitely did that when I worked in a restaurant!

I'd like to thank you for again showing me just how ridiculously wrong my deductions are. For example, because Jezebel is "etc etc etc for women", I tend to assume readers (such as yourself) are women. And when I found out a few weeks ago that you weren't a woman, I just assumed you looked like your profile picture.…