Yeah, I really hate being "that guy" who has to spoil fake news or urban legends like this for people, but I can't help it.

Oh shuuuuuuuuuuuuuut the fuck up.

No, YOU don't get it. No one gives a fuck that you had to deal with some phlegm.

So, in summary:

I feel like your mom got one over on you, because "Shithead" as a name is such a common urban legend.

I feel like you don't play ARAM much if you think Shaco and Hecarim aren't beasts in ARAM.

This is pretty much the best part of being an ARAM-only player, it's practically impossible for Riot to fuck up ARAM.

"I CAN'T PLAY AP SION ANYMORE?!?"

So we're back to collectively punishing everyone for the actions of shitheads? OK.

Racist? Non sequitur much? How exactly am I racist?

How can it be presumptuous of me when you're admitting to it yourself?

Nope, I just literally pay no attention to the name on the cover, because I could give a shit.

"Plus it's impossible to read every single book without looking the authors name and then, because one is human, speculating about their identity and how it relates to the meaning."

"Not just because it's impossible to never know an author's identity"

Why is it impossible? I've watched thousands of tv shows and movies without knowing jack shit about the directors or writers, why is it such a stretch to know jack shit about an author?

Do you read director bios for every movie and tv show episode you watch too? OTHERWISE HOW COULD YOU EVER TRULY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE WATCHING?!?

"It's just that efforts like this make the Left a laughingstock to the great majority of people."

Believes in meritocracies? Claims to not see race? My libertarian sense is tingling!

Oh how cute, this guy actually thinks meritocracies exist in the real world. To be a teen again...

"Yes, sometimes I can be if my expectations aren't met."

Congratulations, you're also a self-important asshole.

"If I was paying someone good money and they ended up being late by a few hours and this happened frequently I might get mad enough, in my hungry and now tired state, to say push someone or be a little rough with them, especially if I couldn't fire them."

Congratulations, you're a dick.