Finals Bingo!

Twitter is absolutely killer when there's a game going on that everyone's watching. I can't sit and watch football anymore without my phone or laptop in front of me anymore; reading the dickjokes to go along with the games ups my enjoyment 100%.

There's plenty of room, but know that this is just a life boat off the Titanic, and we're taking on water.

I'm a huge track & field fan, but field events are tough to watch because it's individualized, and it's in metric so it's hard for Americans to really grasp. That and it can take hours for a pole vault field to finish, for example.

Oh look at me, I can just find a new job in a half hour while drinking my Champagne which was fetched for me by my trained pygmy hippo.

I don't know that you would want the horses to be hanging out with Greg Oden. Hate to make them feel even more inadequate.

Two words: Brazilian. Steakhouse.

No idea. I just love that he has a sense of humor about the Rome thing.

I know I, for one, can't get enough of hearing about Ray Allen's mom.

I just... I just love Twitter.

Eh. I'm over it. Him and his community are miserable enough, why risk cross-infection.

From the comments, it seems like he's ripped off pretty much all of them. I wasn't familiar with the site before, and I wish that was still the case.

Also, I have no idea how she got that shirt. They must have custom-made it for her after Rovell tweeted it this morning - there's no way the company making them would've gotten her one. Still pretty frickin' cool.

Yeah. Barstool's repugnant owner ripped off the design and made it black, then tried to claim it was his idea (after his own readers posted my DUAN design in his comments last night). I don't really care, but it miffed me when I challenged him to donate his profits to a Boston-area cancer hospital (all of my sales go…

From DUAN joke to ESPN wardrobe in 18 hours.

+3 wokkas

Love that kid.

[You know what, fuck me. I'm fucking terrible and shouldn't comment.]

"What the... That's no way to treat the burger king!"

Dives, Dives, and Dives