El Bartoman

Natural fit, considering how good he is at withholding information about 9-11 year-olds.

Wow.

In case anybody was confused what the Deadspin Editorial Policies are, I have obtained this top-secret internal memo. This is the highest JaVale McGee will ever be in any sort of power ranking.

Oh that's good.

Taco Bell: sponsoring bad gastrointestinal decisions around the world.

Yes.

My mom bought a Paintstick back in the day (basically a big tube that you fill with paint, and it had a roller it would squeeze out of). It was actually pretty good.

Jeffrey Loria: "Ready to go Mr. Ali? This is going to be great!"

Pictured: 2024 Socialist Party presidential nominee AJ Daulerio.

The worst part is, it turned out his column was actually a rip-off of Jason Whitlock's fishing-themed April Fools' piece, 425-lbs. Test.

Did I do it right?

"We can not allow the Iraqi linsurgery to stifle freedom and ruin the progress made in that country."

It just made me a second account with no avatar, star, or comment history.

I always thought that too, because of Tazz's fake championship he made up in ECW.

Graphland.com

Now this is the kind of Deadspin-Twitter integration I can get behind.

This is like the Internet equivalent of giving myself a handjob.

I was driving home from work today, and passed through a small backwater town where the most of the residents are considered attractive if they have all their teeth. On the sidewalk I see what appeared to be an 18 year-old girl wearing a skin-tight white tube dress with strategic slits, rocking 5" dayglo pink pumps,…

Also, good bootleg from a reunion show:[archive.org]