If only Jay had a real friend to send him a Google+ invite, he could've sent that to a sympathetic "Misogynist Stalker" circle.

Kosher salt, you say.

Ivan Basso is a sneaky, sneaky fucker. He will be right there, shadowing the entire time, covering every attack, and he will hurt somebody.

DUANku

Every rider who has ever won on the Plateau de Beille, has gone on to win the Tour that year.

As long as the Japanese are being measured by the size of their heart and not their thyroid, I'd say they're doing OK.

Craggs: was on "a fucking train."

I was approved and starred in the same article, for winning the Whitlock Photoshop contest. I assume that is some sort of record.

van Garderen is the future. He will be something special. That ride he put in on stage 8 was brave beyond his years (remember, he's only 22).

I also would have accepted, "Every guy here who isn't going to get cancer in his lifetime, raise your hand. Not so fast there, Polk."

It's both. The guy is a genetic fast-twitch freak. He's an atypical sprinter - he's small and has short legs. Watching him sprint - especially from the overhead helicoptor angle or when they do the car-aside angle in Paris - is breathtaking in his smoothness and savage acceleration. Go back and watch the finish of…

Nope. It's true. Well, true as far as that I've heard it over and over in the last month. I've alternately heard 1 in 3, but still - it's a lot.

I would say sitting to pee at work is totally acceptable, assuming you don't want to actually go back to work and could use the say, 10 minute break a poop affords instead of the two-minute pee spell.

I love IKEA. Maybe it's my Swedish heritage. Maybe it's my love of cheap hot dogs. I don't know. But it makes me inexplicably happy.

This is just like the time I got an Incontinental Title belt tattoo after found out I had Crohn's Disease.

Salsa. Blistering hot salsa.

It could be worse. It's not like you turned down a threesome and then got dumped or something.

I love your Ephrata Dinner Theater joke, although I would've +1'd you if you could've worked in a cloister gag.

[Walk Off HBP beat me to the pink gorilla punchline]

Mason's excitement was tempered after his agent explained to him what a cliche actually was and that he was not, in fact, going to be in any sex scenes.