Never heard of Brett Gardner, Jacoby Ellsbury, or Mike Trout? Oh, ok you're just stupid. That explains everything then.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Only Deadspin and it's gang of brain dead commenters.

Oh yeah, great idea!! C'mon guys, let's all call him and ask him if his refrigerator is running.

No, they haven't. I didn't know that informing someone that they have horrific taste constitutes acting like a "bro", whatever the fuck that means.

This doesn't even make sense. God, you're an asshole.

People have bad taste. You two dipshits are examples of those people, "bro".

Wow, this isn't sarcastic? Holy shit. That undoubtedly further proves the point that you have no idea what the word "hot" means. That or you have extremely poor eyesight. Wow.

This guy is just looking at Pro Football Focus' number 1 rated corner through a whole 5 games, regurgitating what's been written about him in a couple articles, and now trying to pass it off like he's made some revelation about a seemingly unknown player. This asshole doesn't know shit about football, which is further…

"We'd say that we are glad that Juan Uribe sent this team of ninnies home for the season"

Wow, shut up.

Bleeping? Just say "fucking" and stop being an idiot.

HOT

What a fucking dipshit. I'd understand if you were about to play a football game or about to box or do something physical but to rant and rave like a fucking maniac to throw a ball? Just pitch and shut the fuck up, you asshole.

"1) Miami sucks "

Yeah, um, 1) I live in Miami and 2) I've traveled around the world. I'm quite certain that there's nothing that I need to see in Oxford, Mississippi.

Who cares?

"Curtis says he felt the Yankees had traded him to the Rangers after the '99 season because of his proselytizing:"

That dude is so ugly that he's scary looking.

I find it hilarious how these liberal, brain-dead, pussies keep calling you an idiot for correctly calling out a stereotypical generalization of the entire state of Mississippi, yet these are the same fucking morons that would be doing the same thing that you are doing if you were to say a general statement that…

No, these would be more likely: