I don’t think us humans can understand the plight of half-human, half-robots as marginalized members of our society.

That’s all well and good, but if I set my alarm for 20 minutes, I’ll lay there thinking about falling asleep for 20 minutes.

I played beer pong with Justin Tuck in college at ND as he lived down the hall from us. He hit every cup he threw at, but he wouldn’t throw randomly - he would (1) ask who was drinking on the opposing team, (2) if you were thirsty (always) and (3) which cup you’d prefer to drink. He then hit that cup every damn time.…

Wait until he sees the full list of things he can’t do any longer.

Surely, there’s a more artful way to edit these scenes for TV than giant black bars.

Smart girl. She now stays at a Holiday Inn Express.

I know most laugh it off but Rocky IV taught us to be suspicious of the training regiments of Russians with beautiful, glistening thighs

Will be extremely dissapointed if there isn’t a Mario Kart go-cart track.

Well, now I’m going to have to tell my shrink I have necrophiliac desires.

What once was...

Friggn “fans”.

Suckers!!! I was almost going to buy a Wii U for Earthbound (you read that right) but now I don’t have to! Now I can use that money on something meaningful... Like cocaine!!!

The nerve of some peephole...

This is what I was thinking....like Peter got called the Black spider-man when he had the black suit. Miles wears a black suit he will always be black spider-man. If there was a new batman and his suit was yellow, he would forever be known as the ‘yellow batman’.

WOULD ALL YOU COSPLAYERS STOP MAKING LINK SEXY

They made Johnny so fucking cool in MKX.

“Is it mechanically possible for you to fuck yourself?” I laughed my ass off at that one.

She demonstrated knowledge that what she was doing was wrong, would cause his family to hate her and for the police to come after her. Even in the presence of serious psychological issues which I would argue are not evident here, this ability to discern right from wrong prevents her from using the insanity defense.