I think we found one of The Onion's interviewees:

Silly people from Atlanta, its only snow.

Wow.

Honda Should Be Making Cars Like The CRX Again

FULLLLLL ORLOOOOOVVVVVVVE

One guy punched another guy. That is 100% assault.

Audi guy was initially being a dick by pulling in the cyclist zone (I hate those stupid areas, all they do is favor the progress of slower vehicles over faster ones, which makes no sense from a traffic engineering perspective, but anyway), but after that, I blame the cyclist completely. He made it a point to cycle way…

So if you drive badly, and somebody tells you that you drive badly, they've earned their punch in the face?

I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo boos!

Why yes, yes I was!

So it's less like driving a car and more like strapping yourself to a missile?

So, to translate; The Chinese feel that they have found the perfect launch site already, in less time than they had originally hoped for. And rather than give this information away accidentally, they are moving into stealth mode now, and presenting the story that they have encountered a problem. Instead, the Jade…

Well that's a great attitude. If everyone thought that way and never took risks nothing would every get accomplished nor would the envelope every get pushed and we'd all still be riding bicycles.

Must be hard to do when your balls weigh a thousand pounds.

Here's the driver's face while in motion.

"Why do we need to wear suits?"

Strange placement of the steering wheel relative to the seats.

Interesting. So you would buy a 1979 Ford F150 with the over-smogged 302 and a slushbox that made seemingly double-digit horsepower and single digit economy, but the 2013 F150 with low-20s MPG and 300+HP is out? Brilliant.