I’d rather share a plane with dogs than children. The dogs are universally better behaved.

How is this guy approved and I’m still in the greys?

I was truly blown away by Dorff’s entire performance.

better dogs than people

Why? If you have the cash, why would I use a debit card over a Credit card? Know how many free flights I’ve gone on because I use a Credit card instead of a debit card?

2020 Chevy Narwhal. 

Holy shit you’re right. But I can already see the heads exploding from here.

My God, how fast do those Maiers reproduce?

Inconceivable

Hey kid, fuck you.

I’m looking at this image, and all I can think is:

She’s also too dull, too poor an actress, and too boring.

My guess is he wanted exposure. I’ve never heard of him until this scandal, so I guess it worked. Unfortunately for him, he was exposed, so now I’ll forever know him as the actor/singer/director/photographer who faked a hate crime.

Bummer this is only a prototype. I would love to see Ford make a factory sleeper.

That’s a terrible take and just enables the argument that only men should coach men’s teams.

Truer words...

I did the same thing, as did two friends I know. I went on scholarship to a very nice private high school, and I was never taught the right way to do personal finance. As soon as I got to college they were giving out free shirts for signing up for credit cards and it was off to the races. I’m glad I eventually got it…

Kimmel strikes me as the kind of person who has no values or morals of their own and will just do whatever to make a buck. When Howard Stern style shock-jocks were all the rage, that’s what he was. When he realized he could make more money through lowest common denominator misogynistic trash he jumped into The Man…

Nick Cannon’s Instagram post reminds me of the amazing White Like Me SNL sketch with Eddie Murphy, a pure comedic distillation of white privilege:

Jalopnik is so cute when they get all political and stuff. I just want to pinch their cheeks.