...he said to his therapist.

The rare James Madison shade. +1 burning White House

I’m surprised Jefferson didn’t get Madison to take his walks for him.

They didn’t count the North Korean skier who made a break for it.

To be fair, he is probably exhausted from having more sex than any of the 113 men who finished in front of him.

I’m gonna go with she didn’t have time to research her facts because she just watched her friends get blown away and her life was just changed forever.

When you woke up this morning, did you think of yourself as someone who would call the teenaged survivor of a mass shooting a liar on the internet, or are you surprised to learn that about yourself?

“That’s just one less competitor for me.”

This post has all the style and class of a Markelle Fultz jumper. And is about as accurate.

You know what they say: if your aunt had balls she’d be on the East German Olympic team.

I love all this gloating over a team that has yet to win jackshit. Why don’t you wait until you guys get a title before you start going crazy? Sixers fans make me dislike an otherwise likable team.

counterpoint: Give him some more Mountain Dew Code Red.

I don’t troll.

According to Wikipedia, Dave Portnoy (and Barstool Sports) are from Milton, Mass., a suburb of Boston.

Okay, Japan has officially gone too far with their vending machines.

I really don’t care what LeBron does, but may I tell you about the bad beat that happened to me in fantasy football?

Allow me to voice my conclusions.

It was like reading someone who has a nose cold.

Somewhere Rick Barry read that headline, got his hopes up for a second, watched the video, sighed, and mumbled “dammit” to no one in particular.

No, but he killed the Carolinas for a while.