I tend to be all around bad at being a girl. My closet is a mix of blacks, greys, browns, and tans with specks of purple, blue and maybe something red thrown in here and there because I cannot coordinate much past “browns and tans go together and black goes with pretty much everything else”. I do not accessorize…

My mother has a cubic shit ton of food allergies. Seriously, there's only about a half dozen things she can safely consume without need of having to hit an emergency room. And far be it from her to deny my stepfather or anyone else in our family the luxury of dining out. However, she KNOWS where she can go and be able…

I tend to be rather accident prone (most recent example, 2nd and 3rd degree burn to the palm of my left hand from soup attempting to go AWOL between the microwave and my desk in September, 8+ weeks to heal). I somehow managed to marry someone even more accident prone than myself, but his (many, MANY) self-inflicted…

Here you go. A shot of the actual campus. The shot used most often in association with SDSU. A view I have not had to witness daily in over 10 years (huzzah!).

$20 says the crew was in the wings holding the stage manager back from killing that asshole. You do NOT walk across a live set. Rude, uncouth rectal marionette...

Good girl, Stella! Pineapples are evil (and nasty, yech!).

When the billboards started popping up for the Munchie Meals I swore they were Toxic Hell ads when driving by until I was stopped at a light and had a moment to look. The fact that there was both a Toxic Hell and Roo in the Sack within a block of the sign and they chose that purple color did not help. Made me wonder…

A few random responses to some of the above:

Yes, yes it is. Pretty sure it was one of her Michael Bay reviews.

Eesh, I didn't realize Saks had the in store of Nordstrom's Rack (where hideous haute couture goes to die at bargain basement prices).

Our boy was "Eddie" when we brought him home last year. My husband opted to go with Rain upon witnessing him drinking (water everywhere, even now). A couple weeks late we brought home a sister for him who didn't have a name and showed the most interest in being called "Abby". Our poor dog was already 2, nearly 3 when…

So, basically, what you're telling here is that nearly 30 years after I did basically the exact same thing at the exact same age, we still aren't with it enough as a culture to use proper words when talking about body parts. I really don't think my desk can take much more forceful contact from my head.

Steven Seagal's hellzablazing chicken chucks with Guy-Talian potato tippers.

Ugh. We specifically crossed all venues like that off of our list of possibilities when looking for a venue. It really narrowed our choices as we were on a small budget and we're not big drinkers, but with that much family around you bet your ass booze were a must!

*Newark, NJ, city motto: It Could Be Worse, You Could Be in Camden.

Perfect breakfast varies based on season, hormones, and level of homesickness. Some incarnations include (in no particular order):

Please know that you are not alone. So many others have already made much more powerful and better worded statements than I can, but they all have truth. I believe that you have the strength within you to conquer this. The fact that you not only reached out in a public forum, but got yourself out of the tub and are…

Great Holy Moo, WHY?!? Did a doughnut kill his parents and kitten then go cackling off into the night?

Will she ever just go the fuck away? I honestly can't think of a single thing that makes her existence, let alone her fame, worthwhile. Not. A. Single. Thing. Including Singled Out. The only good to come from that was Chris Hardwick and it took nearly 2 decades for him to acheive that.

My stepmother sent me 90% of the twangy creepy country songs you listed as options she felt I seriously needed to consider when I got married. It should be noted that country music lands well near the bottom of my prefered genres of music. That said, I went with Tom Petty's Wildflowers which I've loved since high…