Considering what they try to pass off as a pull up, I am not shocked.

“These ‘scars’ tell my history which include a dark time when I was in prison”

“would herald the marriage of the Murdochs and the McMahons”

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

“In an altered paranoid state, believing ordinary citizens were government officials that were tracking him and recording him.”

I could see how this would be difficult for someone so used to going...
*Puts on shades*
unnoticed.

Sweet merciful Jesus yes please. Gimme dem pulse phaser cannons.

“Hold my beer” - Cowboys fan

Meanwhile, here in Sacramento people are having fever dreams about drafting Doncic and getting Boogie back in free agency.

You should. Wendy’s twitter account is actually pretty funny

I dare you to find me someone more self-righteous and dead inside than a higher education administrator. At least the vampire capitalists are honest about their intentions.

Graves and Cole nearly dying in the commentary after it happened made it even funnier. As did when Cole started listing all historic moments in Royal Rumble matches and putting O’Neil as greater than them.

Every 90's kid with a good childhood reading this article like:

Optics is also a corporate term for appearance the way you’re using it.

If you write your lowercase a’s like a small capital A you match the psych profile for a serial killer.

Did they have a competitive benefits package?

Translation: We have no experience with the internet.

Crossover, crossover, crossover pass.

The Mets are 12-3, -and the Nots were due. Not sure this game was worth all the ink.

“No, left at the good McDonalds. Rerouting.”