Forgive me, but how the fuck is that the restaurant's fault? If those dumbasses weren't choosing to get wasted in the first place, they'd be alive. Stop me if I'm wrong

You'll get no argument from me over the fact that Buck is possibly the worst thing of all the things ever, but why the ill will to Rivera because of it? I mean I get that you're a Sox fan, but as a baseball fan can't you just not be a Sawx fan for a minute?

Oh my god never stop being who you are Jets. Who is even running this team at this point? At least with the other horrible franchises you get a sense of who is running things into the ground, but with the Jets nobody seems to be in charge, which makes every terrible decision they make even funnier.

I can't be the only one who thought that was Eli Manning.

Everyone commenting on this is cleary incredibly cheap and lousy tippers. Waitstaff make like $2/hr doing a difficult job, 15% is lousy and most decent humans don't give less than 20%. The service would have to be horrible, which maybe it was in this case but we don't know. None of you should go out to eat ever again.

If you can pay $75 for a meal, I would hope you would have the sense to tip at 20-25% when you can afford it easily. I'm not rich in any sense of the word, but I tip at least 20% for any meal, and more for cheap meals. (Like an $8 meal means a $4 tip). Respect our service workers who can't get their wages raised.

Tebow's plan to get everyone on the Pats arrested just so he can get playing time seems excessive.

And somewhere, Gronk is sitting back asking "Still want me to apologize for dancing too much?"

Thank god I can finally justify my lack of knowledge, interest, and awareness about soccer on some random sports-related gruesome murder in some remote thugged out jungle of Brazil. Nobody in the US would ever get killed over sports or video games....oh wait.

And we are having the Olympics and world cup hosted here for what reason again? They don't have the infrastructure in place, their corrupt politicians make our worst ones look like boy scouts, tourists are regularly kidnapped, and this is how their fans and residents behave.

Why was this country chosen to host the World Cup and the Olympics?

Well, after checking the video at least I know what it means to be "quartered". Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be crying in the bathtub for the next 9 hours.

One of the best comments in Deadspin history, and I'm a fan of both soccer and human life.

Sorry, I don't see the problem here. While smoking bans are, (arguably) a public health issue there is a strong point to be made about 'next they wanted' syndrome.

Welcome to the Deadspin comment section. Look around a bit, get a better feel for the place, then keep coming back.

Luckily he has to take off only his socks to stay in good graces with his coach.

Butt Fumble never gets old.

"Second Man Connected To Aaron Hernandez..."

Bristol, CT: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Judging by his forehead, he was poised for a break out season.