There's a premature ejaculation joke in there somewhere...

Wait, I can play this game too! "The only thing worse than being a racist (bigot) is being called a racist/bigot!" What a load of crap. Yet another over-privileged athlete who thinks he rules the world. One can only hope he is charged, convicted and imprisoned.

Jimmy approves!

And here is the future Steven Hawking is worried about: "The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line August 4th, 1997. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to…

While it would be a great time-saver, I fear my usual morning grogginess would lead to disaster. Best of luck to you, however!

Good luck, we're all counting on you. BTW, if you do try this, please remember not to mix the two activities. That would be nassssssty.

$50 for the iW1 is a steal. I bought one for my mother a few years ago, and it's a peach. (I'm sure I paid considerably more for the unit, so much for being an "early adopter.") We do have an occasional problem with it dropping the Wi-Fi, but that is easily resolved. It sounds terrific, too. I'm a big fan.

Mr. Woods, are you at all familiar with something called "The Streisand Effect?" I believe you are about to get a lesson on that topic. Also, too, "Lighten up, Francis!"

(In best Harvey Korman voice) "That's HedLY!"

"Wehhhhhrnstrom!!"

Muahahaha...I understand Jeff Bridges is actually pretty good, too. JD and the ShitShot? Not so much....

Is Gregggg even remotely aware that the national debt has in fact DECREASED?? Oh, sorry to sully your column with pesky things like facts, man...haughtier and more of a dipshit every Thursday. Love it!

You got me, I give up. Have a good one!

Don't even get me started on "celebrity bands." Yikes. Anyone remember Bruce Willis' great success as a rock star? Me neither....

YA dickless wonder, trying too hard to make up for his own insecurities. Disgusting, immoral behavior, but what does one expect from those with arrested development issues? So very sad....

Haha, he certainly won't win any beauty contests. I am much more put off by his behavior than by his looks, and still insist he'd be working in a McDs somewhere, if his name did not happen to be Dolan. For more of same, please see Bush, George W. and Andrew Cuomo.

L'il Jimmy Dolan did NOTHING other than win the gene pool lottery. Much like Trump, he owes his fortune to his father. This does not make him a financial genius or "Master of the Deal." It makes both of them lucky assholes who inherited their wealth. As for Silver, what can you expect from the paid spokesmodel for the…

Moron tweets what?

I'm curious, Drew; have you ever gotten a really nasty message from Emmitt Smith? I mean, I love your "In Living Color" takeoff, and the Evans stuff? Gold, baby, gold...yet I maintain you are a very brave man to make fun of a large, well-muscled former football player. I wonder if he even reads Deadspin? (No, I will…

So sad, and yet, so true, that many would place a dog's life above that of another human being's. What a world....