(In best Harvey Korman voice) "That's HedLY!"

"Wehhhhhrnstrom!!"

Muahahaha...I understand Jeff Bridges is actually pretty good, too. JD and the ShitShot? Not so much....

Is Gregggg even remotely aware that the national debt has in fact DECREASED?? Oh, sorry to sully your column with pesky things like facts, man...haughtier and more of a dipshit every Thursday. Love it!

You got me, I give up. Have a good one!

Don't even get me started on "celebrity bands." Yikes. Anyone remember Bruce Willis' great success as a rock star? Me neither....

YA dickless wonder, trying too hard to make up for his own insecurities. Disgusting, immoral behavior, but what does one expect from those with arrested development issues? So very sad....

Haha, he certainly won't win any beauty contests. I am much more put off by his behavior than by his looks, and still insist he'd be working in a McDs somewhere, if his name did not happen to be Dolan. For more of same, please see Bush, George W. and Andrew Cuomo.

L'il Jimmy Dolan did NOTHING other than win the gene pool lottery. Much like Trump, he owes his fortune to his father. This does not make him a financial genius or "Master of the Deal." It makes both of them lucky assholes who inherited their wealth. As for Silver, what can you expect from the paid spokesmodel for the…

Moron tweets what?

I'm curious, Drew; have you ever gotten a really nasty message from Emmitt Smith? I mean, I love your "In Living Color" takeoff, and the Evans stuff? Gold, baby, gold...yet I maintain you are a very brave man to make fun of a large, well-muscled former football player. I wonder if he even reads Deadspin? (No, I will…

So sad, and yet, so true, that many would place a dog's life above that of another human being's. What a world....

Because the thing the NFL really needs right now is another criminal in its ranks. Nice going. Mr. Goodell! Kudos to the NCAA, as well. It is a puzzlement.

I can only help with the title; "Words of Love upon the Sand (beach?)" No clues about the apostrophe.

[I can't upload images from work...boo, hiss!]

A quick Google search reveals that the USPHS uses the caduceus as part of their insignia. But I guess they don't know what they're doing; perhaps you could enlighten them?

Say what you will, the man can shoot a basketball.

Me neither, and frankly, I don't think my life would improve if I did see it. I hate Spielberg's "emotional endings" with a passion. The music swells, the light comes up and you know the hero is going to experience redemption. Not for me, thanks.

But what of the famed "reverse peephole"?? /s/ C. Kramer/Newman

A man who's been convicted of making illegal campaign contributions? Or perhaps the answer is "Dinesh D'Souza"? What do I win??