Tim McCarver and Bud Selig both retiring from baseball. I almost want to type that line twice, 'cause it's sweet, sweet music to my ears. I have never been able to abide his blathering and have often dubbed him "Captain Obvious." That, combined with his weakness for useless hypotheticals ("If he doesn't make that…
HypnoToad
Only-my-opinion-counts
Though I love them both separately, I resisted the siren call of chocolate-covered bacon. My brother gifted me some "pig candy" and I approached it carefully. I have honestly never put anything in my mouth that tasted so good. Hence, I agree 100% with your headline. Now, if there were only some magical animal which…
So, a penguin walks into a bar; the bartender says "We don't get many penguins in here!" The penguin looks at the menu, and replies "At these prices you won't see many more!" [rimshot/shows self out.]
Only if you're not smart enough to don a pair of diapers before you sit down for the game. It's called "planning," people!
Per my long-ago perusal of the Boy Scout Manual, they can also be removed by a) placing a hot match head on their rump or b) covering them with Vaseline. I wouldn't recommend putting anything hot near your junk, but the Vaseline trick is supposed to cover their breathing pores. Then again, I've never had a tick attack…
Reading about this POS makes it very difficult for me to hold on to my life-long opposition to the death penalty. Somehow the thought of Patterson having to spend the rest of his life behind bars offers me some comfort. A two-year old?? Sheeeeeeeit. Prosecute, convict, imprison and then wipe this shitstain from our…
This headline is six words too long. #twitterisstupid.
Can you tell me what the stock market is going to did last week? I really need the money...
Sorry to burst your bubble (and ruin your joke) but it was Who Do You Trust? I am sadly old enough to remember when it was on. Edit: A quick (post-posting) check of Wikipedia reveals we are both correct. You had the original title while I only knew of the altered version. Objection withdrawn.
Yessssss! Hi-yooooooooo....
Good thing I don't play Minecraft. There is an old joke along those lines: The husband says that was his answer when he meant to ask his wife "Pass me the cereal?" But I appreciate the SP reference. At least I HOPE that's what you were going for!
Not sure; can you tuna fish? (I'll just show myself out...)
They were going for this look. Epic Fail.
They were actually going for this look. Fail.
I will always treasure the memory of the old Genny commercial where a guy proudly announces that while he's in GERMANY, he still "loves his Genny Cream." Please. The only reason that pisswater ever passed my gullet was the option of $2 pitchers in my favorite college hangout. Them was the days...but then I grew up,…
Walt and/or the vacuum cleaner man adopted Skyler (and Marie's) maiden name for Walt's false identity.
Tolkien's ability to construct languages is one of the factors that made me love LoTR the first time I read it. (Went back and read the trilogy at least three or four more times afterwards.) The old saying about the devil being in the details applies here. I was stunned to finish the books only to delve into the…
Simply the best; there is really nothing else to say. Screw those doubters who criticize him for "only being a reliever." They are just jealous, because the greatest reliever ever to play the game didn't play for THEIR team. Jealous much??