Is there any NFL team left to root for? 

The Saints, hilariously, have now ended consecutive seasons with Super Bowl-caliber rosters with one of the worst missed tackles in NFL history and one of the worst non-calls in NFL history.

Okay, I don’t see it in “live” action at that angle, but this slo-mo proves your point.

Okay, explain this to me like I’m a deadspin commenter.

I feel like this list was underexplained.

Mike Mitchell and Mike Newlin’s inability to score against the Sonics isn’t so unusual. Their defense hasn’t allowed a point in over 10 years.

Let he among us who hasn't declared war on Bill Laimbeer cast the first brick.

Nah, I think you were right the first time 

They’ll say it’s the 6th Division, but it’s really somewhere around the 3rd or 3rd and a half.

I remember Leapin' Lee Winfield, Downtown Freddy Brown, and Donald Slick Watts.

Any tips for alternatives to Acrobat?

No need to hurriedly dangle second contract in front of Machado. Every team knows he won’t hustle to first.

“Give the guy a break. Things have gotten real tight now that he can’t just use his charity as a front.”

[im such a moran]

He’s not among the first Arians who were Winston-likers

I thought taking the most difficult route to your goal was whole point of playing Parkey?

I’m told the NFL takes a break for 40 days and 40 nights in late February and March.

Just for that, you can’t join my neighborhood Facebook group, Nimbynonymous.

Never sign your tweets, idiot!

FWIW, Maisel has been a good sports writer for a long time. He wrote extensively on college sports at his newspaper in the 70s, when his coach was Bill Walsh and his QB was John Elway. Nostalgia for the college athletic ideal may come naturally to him, which might be informing his writing style in this piece.