Mark, I don't care about the size of your "endowment." I'd still ride it like I stole it, aight?

Ah, Neil Gaiman, the unauthorized biography.

Can someone please just give Ann Curry and Pat Kiernan a show together? It would be like REALLY?! with Seth and Amy from SNL, but not a sketch!

The left one had become semi-detached from the areola. It moved up and down much like the head of a Pez dispenser.

I'm cool with that, as long as they keep their greasy mitts off of Vertigo!

Originally I was going to be getting married in September. The plan for that bachelorette was going to be spending the day in Coney Island drinking, eating fried foods, going on rides, and then ending the day cheering on the Brooklyn Cyclones (minor league tickets are tres cheap, and in some group packages, you get a…

I think you should print this out on cards and hand it out to bachelorette parties that try to get into gay bars. AMEN and AMEN. I mean, if you want to pay money for a professional drag show, go for it, those can be lively and fun (as any fan of RuPaul's Drag Race can tell you), but just going to a gay bar is NOT…

It's true, my dad *is* awesome. But sadly, he lacks the large bags of money required to change the discourse of that party, sadly.

Well, I'm going to work on him. This article received an angry tirade directed at Romney in response, so I'm hopeful my dad's opinion of the guy will be turning.

This.

I just sent this to my dad. He tends to lean republican despite hating Fox News, being pro-choice, pro-marriage equality and pro-marijuana legalization. He voted for Obama in the last election because he couldn't trust McCain's judgement after McCain chose "the Wackadoo" (his name for Palin) as a running mate.

#COTD!!!

I kind of love this, and hope it's true.

Yup, that pretty much sums it up.

Well, that's fine. There are a few bars near Pat O's that catch the spillover on nights when it's too crowded to move. That said, Pat O'Brien's is one of my favorite bars in the entire world - any place you can get completely hammered while sitting in a beautiful garden with a fountain is as close to heaven as this…

Fictional presidents always sound better - they don't have any of those pesky human frailties we find so disappointing. And they have people like Aaron Sorkin writing their every move.

This.

That's why I stopped watching it. The only thing I like about it is that it stuffed the living hell out of Felicity Huffman's bank account, ensuring that once it's over she can go back to doing theater and kick ass independent films.

You, madam, are a genius.

Professor Elemental is made of amazing. It's true.