Crotchzilla sounds like an amazing name, actually.

Also bad: Vagina Dentata, chomper of dicks.

Depends on what you named it.

It's a goddamned accident. We have had cats and babies together for 1000s of years. The parents don't need to 'better supervise' their cat and their baby and we sure as hell don't need to assume that the parents were doing a poor job. We already know we are doing a shitty job as parents, we are reminded of it…

But that's not true. There's a history of fans and critics wanting to see more diversity in shows that feature all-white casts: "Cheers," "Fraiser," "Friends," How I Met Your Mother," and most recently "Girls." Don't ask me how I know this, just look it up. Now the question of diversity in casts should be answered by…

My dog barked at her butt as if it offended her.

Mallory Archer?

In what seems to be a spell of fated irony, the dog pooped in the living room this afternoon, shortly before this post was published. My boyfriend has never done that, to my knowledge. So chalk one up for him in the life partner column I guess.

Oh all the fucking whining about "but if women take men's jobs and don't need marriage, what are men even for?" I dunno, maybe try being a good human being and see what happens?

My son wasn't feeling well the other day and my wife was pulling things out of our garage for the ARC folks. My son helped her in spite of not feeling well and she told him that is a very manly thing to do and stroked his little 11 year old boy ego in an effort to compliment him for the work. Later I asked her why…

With a little time and effort, this unfortunate image could have been unnoticeably fixed.

Doug, are you trying to reignite the Cake Wars? Because if so, I approve! #TeamPie

Erm, except that isn't the issue at all, but I'm sure you're all feelin' good now that you've put the progressives in their place.

Because white people are individuals while black people are subhuman mongrels (thanks Ted Nugent!) that are like herd animals. They aren't sentient, they are a Complex Adaptive System that only SEEMS intelligent but really work completely on pheromones, instinct and environmental cues.

I don't understand how they think it's an argument, like it excuses what Dunn did. When Bernie Madoff stole all those people's money, I didn't hear a single "but whites steal from whites all the time" as a defense. It just further proves the simple-minded laziness of bigots.

It's not the facts that are racist you dolt. It's your willingness to bring up something that has nothing to do with the story in a lazy effort to make this about your problem with black people. Talk about the "black on black" crime rate when an actual black on black crime occurs, not so you can excuse some racist…

I love how every time a possibly/probably race-fueled murder occurs, they come out of the woodwork to exclaim "But blacks be shooting other blacks! So s'okay!" Nah, not exactly. If an adult black man shot at an unarmed group of white teens who were supposedly being threatening by being in their car blasting music, the…

God that's some lazy-ass racist trolling. At least come up with an original argument. Or maybe try to explain why you can't just talk about the subject of a white dude killing an unarmed black kid without somehow blaming black people as a whole.

I, for one, would like to talk about the white on white crime rate. White crime victims are overwhelmingly likely to be victimized by another white person. Let's talk about that! Clearly, there is something wrong in their culture and communities that makes this white on white crime thing happen.