“My books were not intended to be instruction manuals, my dudes.”

Yeah winning Emmy’s, being nominated for Oscar’s, having box office success and high ratings is a weird way to judge the success of a project. If you aren’t a fucking moron, oh wait....

Are you fucking serious? Dude there is a fucking computer in your pocket use it for something other than looking for porn. Since your dumb ass asked

Serious question to the fan boy who made the comment about Bradley Cooper being the next Black Panther: How fucking dumb are you? I mean I know that is a rhetorical question at this point but I need to know was there ever anything written in stone or a law sworn upon a stack of bibles that 007 was to remain a white…

Netflix: Are you still watching this motherfucker get punched in the face?

I can’t tell what he’s saying since it’s a gif file, but I can tell he had a really (ful)filling knuckle-sandwich for lunch.

He’s right...and kinda wrong. Yes, I wish that the internet mobs would maybe consider that things are a bit complicated and that—in specific cases—people do need room to understand rather than be shut down.

HOWEVER, there are for too many instances in which internet outrage has actually done the work that people who…

That’s why I only drink grain alcohol and rainwater. To protect my essence

I have lunch every other week or so with a woman who works in my office. Sometimes we go to lunch at the same time and we both require nourishment so eating together makes sense. So far I have managed to avoid fucking her. I do this by not trying to fuck her. This also applies to all other women I know who are not my…

I think the fact that none of these conservative male fuckwits have any women they think of as just friends speaks VOLUMES for their disdain for women as people. Because obviously for them, if a woman isn’t for fucking or marrying or knocking up, there’s just no reason to interact with her or care about her at all is…

Point of fact, HR Giger did, in fact, use this very fish as his design inspiration for the alien:

Anyway, Voldemort is already the governor of Florida.

Oh that’s easy, the short one is off putting the tall one looks like his morning ritual includes putting on his face which is actually the too small skin of his child victims.

They could possibly pass for human beings if they chose literally any other hairstyle.

But only after doing acid with HP Lovecraft.

One is off-putting; the other is scary.

Still not as scary looking as these two

With HR Geiger as the executive chef. Why do they all look like they just squeezed their way out of someone’s ass?

Apparently these are the kinds of security guards who can bend the laws of space and time. They can instantaneously transport from one place to another, while other people remain frozen in place. It’s not like someone else could have been moving while they were moving. Or that she was moving while she was yelling for…