Red Sox fans can call Ellsbury a traitor, but most of them aren't smart enough:

Teleportation exists and we're talking about a football game?!?

So a Bears fan walks into a bar...

They later retreated and settled for taking numerous unflattering candid shots of the other.

JD: I don't own music.

More like Cutest Traumatic Encephalopathy

The possibility that Christian Ponder and Josh Freeman will both be killed in a freak pheasant hunting accident this Saturday is certainly the nightmare of all nightmares, but no team in the NFL would be better equipped to handle the loss of two useless quarterbacks than the Vikings. Fools will cry that I'm jinxing…

You're, like, not all that swift, eh?

I think we have an answer to the question "Does a masseur for a soccer club only use his feet?"

That's a typo. The movie's actually called The 14 Knights Were Slain by Moops

Not if you wanna F the double X's. Up top.

Monday

It says right there on the side panel- "A first for Strasburg". What more do you need?

Finally the future can begin.

What are you talking about Tim? It's clearly the other dealership that's being racist.

"Racist? Nah, the Sentra is way too slow."

One thing you'll never find in my house is a paycheck.