If I remember correctly, he followed that by looking into the camera and saying he was a redneck, which was hilarious.

People tell me I'm white, and I believe them, because I shop at Eddie Bauer...

Oh maan, so been there- the only brown person in my all white class, and when the topic of slavery and race came up in class, all eyes turned to me. Only, it was even more ridiculous since I'd only been in the US for just over a year from Nigeria at that point, so what in all f-ery was I supposed to know about the…

ugh, i worked with a douche-bee Well Meaning Right Winger who once told me that when he looks at me, he doesn't see a lesbian!

This is my favourite such exchange:

I read this and my eyes widened like a cartoon. Who the fuck would do that?

What kind of lawyer demands an apology on behalf of their client through twitter?

My puppy is 10 months old and still hasn't howled yet. I try to teach her but she just looks concerned and then licks my face.

Lots of women joined the convent out of necessity and not choice. A women may have joined because she liked God but also because her family didn't have dowry money for her, her family was impoverished, she was a widower with no where else to go, she was caught having an unapproved romance- the list is endless. …

Everyone should rewatch the dance scene from the 1965 movie. You can see and feel them falling in love. On a side note, the movie was a huge deal when it came out - I was pretty young and still remember my entire family dressing up and going to a big, beautiful theater 30 miles away to see it.

Well, Maria is a nun-school dropout who married her boss. I wouldn't take my relationship advice from her, either.

I will die if I cannot have that dress. Except not in white, because I eat like Cookie Monster and come home every day from work with pen marks all over my hands and face even if I don't touch any pens.

Is your kid a boy or girl? If your kid is a boy looking for role models, have him check out some snaps of the actor and total smokeshow Dan Feurreigel (he was Agron on the TV show "Spartacus" — don't let the kid watch that show though) who was fitted with a pacemaker as a teenager and has a large scar as a result.…

I really hope that's just bad fucking sarcasm. If not maybe you need to work on your read comprehension and stop being such an asshat.

My husband has a list saved in his phone of the hospitals he is not, under any circumstances, allowed to let me end up at if, God forbid, there's some kind of emergency. They are exclusively all of the Catholic hospitals within an hour of our house.

Even if you don't love cookies, it's rude to have that kind of super-disgusted reaction to a gift. Acting like Satan at his sweet sixteen party is not called for. Ever.

There was a girl in my elementary shool who was in a horrific car accident when she was in the second grade. She lost an arm. That summer, when we were over her house playing, we saw that her dad had taken every one of her Barbie/Jem dolls and cut the left arms off at the elbows for her. Years later she told us he did…

LaComtesse with the wisdom once again :) The only thing I'd add to this list is "profession names:" Baker, Hunter, Cooper, Fletcher, Archer, Mason. C'mon, you're naming a Real Life Human, not populating a D&D campaign!

Not to crash the electronics party, but the American Eagle underpants are 10 for $30. They're 95% cotton, and the bikini style looks like it won't give you an instant yeast infection.

I scored myself a sewing machine this morning! And wow am I embarrassed about my excitement!