How does that guaranty identification of the alleged perpetrator?

Acid, wit.

How long is his braid?

And if your DNA was implicated, you would claim you were innocent, right?

Klaatu barada nikto?

Last year was 2014!?!?! Smoke lingers, I guess.

den Kindern fehlt es an Disziplin!

Where did I see this before???

You would lie too, if it happened to you.

You are doomed.

What automobile company manufactures a stretch limo?

Just like Freddie the Freeloader:

I’ve found stuff in such locales to usually be overpriced, unfortunately and the sellers become indignant when a reasonable offer is made.

If only they had strung up gift cards and twenties.

Uh, this is a federal prosecution of federal law. Nothing to do with the state.

Arizona has a state law requiring those with potable water to share it with thirsty passersby.

Your insults reflect more on you than on those you attempt to insult.

Wait til you break several ribs post 55 and comment again.

Your insults reflect more on you than those to whom you direct your insults. BTW, your use of the incorrect form of “There” also detracts from your response.