No props for Derrick Rose? Dude's been playing the "me ow" game in interviews for years.

"I've stayed away from fish and loaves of bread - no matter how much I eat of the stuff, I just can't seem to finish what's on my plate."

Peeps by Dr Dre.

"This is the hair of the dog that bit me."

Who are you, Bill Cosby's lawyer?

Tragically, most of this stuff was donated to my local library last year. I came into the library and the top shelf of the new books section was filled with large books that said RON. Thankfully they were out of the reach of children.

Comcast will be there between 8:00am and 6:00pm.

You're not far off Tom. There's actually another panda outside of the frame that eats shoots and leaves.

"I'm gettin too endangered for this shit!"

Let me get this straight, some kind-hearted Jaguars fan went out of his way to make sure that this couple didn't have to spend a weekend in Jacksonville and somehow he's the bad guy?

I am sick of people saying "the wrong side of thirty." There is nothing wrong ...

This is a goddamn outrage. This has NO BUSINESS on my Deadspin page. WHAT IS HE THINKING? Dale, what am I supposed to tell my kids? How am I going to explain this to them? They look at athletes and, yes, umpires, as ROLE MODELS and now you go about taunting this in my face. Dale, it's "Mike and me." It didn't seem…

In their defense, there was nobody.

(5 months from now)

I copied this from the masthead:

Rock out with your Hawk out, amirite?

"Osweiler it's time to replace Manning."

Noel: [shits in the graves of Harden's ancestors]

I thought this was all settled in the case of Finders v. Keepers

What the hell, kid? You should be in school. And that school should be shielding you from prosecution for rape.