I feel you. There’s a reason I made a summary!

You read Jezebel.

*sees comment at 1am*

Ever since that thing with her brother I wish her less and less success, but she keeps enjoying being her hollow victories. Not sure if thats a good or bad thing.

Well, the Chelsea did live in the WH when Bill was president. /s

As someone who can’t stand Nicki I feel obligated to point out she is the lead artist on under 40% of the songs she gets credit for. She raps 4 lines on someone else’s song and billboard counts it as +1 for Nicki. I can assure you Queen Aretha didn’t get to the top of that list featuring on other people’s songs.

she slipped past the groundbreaking soul singer with 76 chart-toppers.

I’m not sure how panties managed to wedge themselves into that spot.

Mulan is better than Hercules. I rewatched Hercules on Netflix the other day and the story’s a dud. Little Mermaid should be shifted to the four spot and Beauty and the Beast + Aladdin shifted one up each.

And yet, imagine the reaction if woman on Fox were to say ‘As a mother I’m concerned about the lack of healthcare me and my child might get under Trumpcare...’?

This is yet another reminder that having a child does not suddenly make you an expert on literally anything, and that the act of birth is something that literally billions upon billions of people around the world, both very smart and incredibly fucking dumb, have done throughout millenia.

Can Beyonce tell my mother to stop texting “are you okay?” every day while she’s on vacation? She goes out of town and I’m suddenly dying.

This is the first time I’ve ever heard of this person.

If they left it, they wanted you to have it. They gave you doughy joy.

When I was a grad student living on $8K a year, and I found a coupon for $2 off toilet paper on the ground in front of the toilet paper. It made my day, and left me enough money to buy a block of cheese that was not in the budget.

It is my true hope that a coupon for canned soup or whatever will bring other people the…

Honestly, the way things are going, you’d best squirrel it away so you can by ineffectual health insurance this time next year.

OR BLOW IT ON AN iPHONE!

I’m not going to lie, I’d be pretty stoked about $200K. The idea of making $418K a day is making my head spin a little. What the hell do you even spend it on? Where does it go? Do you dive into piles like Scrooge McDuck?

Don’t answer. I don’t really want to know.

I’m trying to imagine what my spouse and I would need to do to make $418K a year. Even if it was in 2005 dollars, that would be an entirely different existence.

What exactly does it say about me that I did in fact click on this story, knowing I would have to look at multiple horrible close-ups that made me gag, and am still commenting on it?

Get that bullshit out of here. Devotion to god? Really? Which one? The one obscured by white imperialism and put into a multi-edited version of the Bible? The one forced upon people of color in attempts to colonize? Go fuck yourself with this racist tripe. That good ol cleaning lady is a victim. The threat of white…