Big Ben on third and long:

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

Where as its a novel concept and probably worth exploring the issue I can see coming up pretty much immediately is Running Backs would be devalued in the draft even more than they are.
Are you ever going to take a RB in round 1 if the longest contract you can sign them to is (for example) 2+ a vesting option for 1?

Has anyone patented the double-decker couch?

I refuse to believe Sidney Crosby is cool enough to do drugs. 

Just the regular edition. And I don’t really dislike the game, I’ve gotten my 60 worth I find. Honestly my friends and I have had some of the most fun in this game than any other.

But this drill mess had me cursing their name that day.

So I have a story.  A local gas station had sketchy ass dick pills for ages but one day brought in the topper.  Something from Thailand called STREE OVERLORD that had an incredibly graphic illustration of Ryu fucking Chun Li.  Like, it took pains to show his dick and balls in mid penetration.  Graphic.  So I tried to…

“I used to have trouble getting it up, because of E.D.*”

Isn’t that the way the “adult” part of the book is though too? Like all over the place? So if they went for a strong adaption, then yeah it may make sense that it’s kind of weird. 

Don’t forget that Marvel also owns 100% of the merchandising rights for Spider-Man as well, not Sony. These movies are essentially giant commercials for their toys anyways. They were going to be making way more in the end than Sony ever would, just for that reason.

This is peak MAGA America. I especially love the fact that this “real man” didn’t have enough “hair on his balls” to give his full name.

Somehow the use of Comic Sans is like the 30th most offensive thing about that letter...

What do Tim Tebow and Johnny Manziel have in common?

I say this genuinely, not as a hipster — how long have you read Deadspin?

I don’t think we’ve seen peak Simmons. He turns 23 this month, he is the age most people graduate college. He is still growing into his body and can still improve. The biggest question is whether or not he will improve. He is athletic enough and has a good feel for the game, and he is a solid defender. It astounds me…

Well, Penny Arcade was close...

You’re wrong on all counts.

It’s a terrible injury, but it’s no longer a guaranteed career death sentence, especially for players who are reasonably young, and who have skills in place that go beyond their raw athletic ability. Rudy Gay, who was never remotely as good as Durant to begin with, recovered from a full rupture of his Achilles pretty…

As a dreamboat myself, I can certainly relate to Cody Bellinger’s problem—all of the young men who watch my Metal Gear Twitch stream keep begging me to nut on camera, and it’s like at a certain point, who am I to deny them?

This is probably one of the best takes. Entertaining, but not GOOD good. Not bad like Fan-4-stic for sure.