We gave cancer patients serious addictions and made nursing homes turf in the drug war. You had one fucking job Oxy. Take out Rush Limbaugh. You failed.

Despite the intensity of Dr. Morriss, the small sample size places him on the lower end of the scientist social hierarchy.

" She was about 9, with lovely red hair and a pretty moon-shaped face. "

So in other words:

Notice how even in an article about a woman going gray, he still manages to refer to her as a "girl".

The shift in guardianship comes after their former caretaker, Sheen's ex Denise Richards, informed the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services that the boys are misbehaving in ways that she blames Mueller for and that she no longer wants them to stay with her.

While Sheen is throwing shade at Brooke Mueller for being a bad mom, none of these mainstream entertainment outlets seems incline to ask why this fucking dickhead can't be responsible for his own kids.

Oh hey Justin, doing some graffiti, huh? Whacha got there? Is that... what?

Oh Ian Somerhalder, so very handsome, but an airstream and a luxury SUV are hardly "in nature." Let me know if ever want to try roughing it for real. *winky face*

"My name is Ms. Stewart, not Ms. Dodai."

Dear Open Letters,

It occurs to me that Miley might be so young that she doesn't have a firm concept of a what a regular letter is.

OMG GUYS: If my size-24 ass can accept that "plus size model" doesn't equal "person who actually wears plus sizes" without having a total brain seizure/meltdown, then ANYONE CAN DO IT. Sheesh.

Read.

You know all Irish people? Weird. You know my friend Peter? He's Irish. He's cool. I dig him.

The fact is, her name is a handicap because it's associated with black people. It's that simple. Very few people will disparage a Japanese-American for having the name Kenji or Ayako, but they'll shit all over a black person for having a "black" name. Hell, my name is clearly "ethnically-tied" and I never get shit…

I really, really hate it when people say shit like, "let's explore each other" instead of just getting to the point and saying, "let's fuck." I mean, "explore" sounds like you're completely clueless about human anatomy and you're hovering over a nude person with a fucking compass, taking measurements and notes.

Despite that he doesn't want "hipster culture" defining how she dresses, dude sounds like a hipster. Good luck, bro.