Really?

For months I was getting someone’s free gym bags and totes you get when you subscribe to magazines and I would always turn them over to the post master.

Jokes aside, I’ve actually been in the ‘hab, twice, of my own volition and sans intervention (because when you’re a high functioning addict you can get by without anyone, including immediate family members, having any idea that you’re an addict) so if this was my reality I would probably end up back there. Third…

I took a hot yoga class that someone came too dressed up in taped on heavy duty garbage bags all over covering their body. Yes it was a weird crinkly plastic sound for an hour and half. I’ve laughed my hardest during yoga classes for anyone that has never taken a yoga class go to a truly smallish city where there are…

“This is the universe’s way of telling me that I should take ALL THE DRUGS!”

Ahem.

Hey we did yoga in rehab! There’s some overlap there. Whatever I see situations like this I wanted what I would do. But being a drug addict I would go HAM and it would be the worst (best?) fluke ever for me.

I dunno about you, but I’ll take drugs over yoga any day. Come at me.

Darn-tootin’ you were!

I am guessing you meant “Blanche,” but honestly I kind of love “Balance.”

All these wannabe “good guys with guns” are also “Blue Lives Matter” people. You know what actually helps “blue lives”? DOING AS THEY FUCKING SAY AND DON’T GO PLAY VIGILANTE.

What do his bravado and teeth have in common?

Wiki:

My first thought when I heard about the shooting was “country music festival...there must have been more than one good guy with a gun there to protect himself.”

While I appreciate your opinion. As terrible as Avatar was, Titanic was worse. Old Rose tossing a rare jewel into the ocean,proving she’d never used it for good just confirmed my opinion that Jack should have shoved her off the door.

Ladies and Gents:

That was the only thing about yesterday that wasn’t a complete garbage fire.

I have been looking for this glorious social media gaffe to show up on Jezebel today because it has consumed my life. So. This happened to NPR. Someone meant to post something to his personal page, but he posted it to the NPR page. The problem is that this happened yesterday, and it’s been such a shitshow of a couple…

I’m so embarrassed that I immediately know that was Conrad Hilton. You’re welcome!