Kylie, darling, you spelled "monotony" wrong.

Ha! I never considered that people might have been accidentally orgasming! Worth considering.

Here is an excellent short article about the custom, with some incredible photos of burneshas.

Fact: Children never carry germs or make hideous noises at night.

This picture was taken just moments before a twirling farmhouse tragically landed on Ms. Swift.

Dear everyone losing their minds on this article: fuck you. Short jokes are still funny. I will continue to make short jokes. "Heightism" is not a thing. Eat a big old smelly dick.

PS. Do you think if the two of them had a kid, it would produce the Littlest Who in Whoville?
PPS. So, is Bruno Mars Mattel's attempt to…

I love him, but I'm fairly certain Bill Clinton has never opted out of one bang in his entire life.

One of the perpetrators

I work in a club, and have been both the DJ and a member of a live act. I fully support the ban of cameras in clubs, and I'd happily leave mine alone while I'm there.

The berghain in Berlin already has such a policy, and it doesn't seem to cause anyone much of a problem there. Despite the policy, the club is of the…

When I was a younger some friends and I used to have challenges to see how long we could go without buying groceries or see who could eat for a week for the least amount of money. We did it because we were poor as fuck, but it made being poor seem like more of a fun skill than a depressing condition. Shit like this? I…

If you go out to the club and there's no instagram/ tweet/ or photo on facebook, did it really happen?

Poor Jenny McCarthy. Looks like she might have the flu. Too bad there's no way to prevent that...

I gave birth on Friday so this was my New Year's Eve. Babies FTW!!!!!
(Bottle usage due to latching/sucking issues and blood sugar testing equipment failure at the hospital that resulted in an unnecessary extra day's stay. What a fucking shitshow that was.)

The North American skin flute. I died.

You guys, I like fetuses. I do. I've even loved two personally. But this all made me want to vomit blood.

That's terrible. By all accounts they had a happy marriage—I hope you did, as well. Healing and finding a new love is a good and positive thing for everyone. I wish Lisa Niemi every happiness, and I wish you joy, too.

Those people are dicks. I am really happy you have found someone who makes you happy after such a terrible loss and everyone should be happy for Lisa too.
No one should be alone forever if they don't want to be.

Good for them. I still wouldn't enlist my son* with them.

Cats are deeeeep thinkers, man. Deeeeeep. They totally get physics, but chose not to share it with people. The last time they did that, Catpurnicus told his person, and the dude got it ALL WRONG.