There's no way I'm hitting happy time unless I do empty the blad therefore all happy times are dependant on your good vs my blad.

I have an ex hellEXyes who used to leave me cum dried socks on the floor by his side of the bed every morning that followed every night I expressed an interest in sex. Other than that mother fucker, for whom I no long sock-wash, I think a little one eye action from me (yeah, I said that) with an offer to assist is…

I accidentally used Nair for legs on my face. Was only slightly concerned when 'the burn' started at the 60 second mark, instead of the recommended 10 minutes. Reread the container, freaked out, got it off - but not soon enough. I had scabs in the shape of a full mustache and beard for about a week. Sexy!

Seriously? Oh, got my hopes up there. It won't hit Canada for a bit. Grrr.

Her hand on his chest looks like a tree frog, yes?

It is a challenge, yes? And the reality is that yeah, some will suck forever. I have a girlfriend who won't even let her partner go down on her anymore because he is so bad at it. Together 16 years. He will die thinking that his dick is so magical, that that is all he needed to get her off. And we're into the old,…

Exactly.

Thank you for posting a Canada friendly version Miss Rebecca Rose. xo

Yeah, thank christ for the second doc who got me properly diagnosed and got me on the right antibiotics and the pain stopped soon after. The nurses were fabulous. They told me that doc 1 had a very bad reputation and had been caught drinking before going into operating theatres before. They suggested I sue him. They…

Ahh this story. I am glad it was posted, I've read the criticisms against it but was heartened to hear your response. This happened to me when I was 17. So, late '70s. Nausea first. Breast tenderness, weight gain. A 'real' holy crap I must be pregnant moment. Urine test was positive. I was having a baby! Thrilled…

Soylent Orange. Good story.

So you didn't like my last, "OMG I used to do this post." But here's another one ;) OMG in my 20's I did this! To stave off fears of being insane, frankly. Every day was, "You are the star of a movie called What Would A Normal Person Do? Got up, brushed my teeth and went to work everyday. #stillcrazybutstillhere Good…

Ah jeez. It gets harder to think the best, yes? This whole thread is reminding me of so many messed up people I used to know. I once made a week's worth of dinners for a colleague who was pregnant with twins and had broken her ankle. While delivering said dinners she tells me she broke her ankle because the had drank…

They had three more kids together and I have lost touch with them. That night the last thing I said was something like, "Turn your ass around, take those (flowers) to (new mom) and do not ever even look at me sideways or I will tell her. I will chaulk this up to momentary insanity if you do the right thing right now.…

Nah, I was actually a little worried once I realized I had just let a very fucked up LARGE man into my apt. He left with his head hanging (and I don't want to know what else).

Ahh, the post awkward moment sensitive soul. My fav.

Blech Blech Blech

I kind of went all 'mom' on him, in a way. He was a big fucking dude, who is now in my apartment alone with me and he's obviously not thinking clearly. There was a split second there where I am processing it thinking, "Fuuuuck, this could go badly." Shame won though. Yay shame!

I saw the flowers and let him in, figuring he was on the way TO the fucking hospital. Maybe offering me a ride. Now I've got this HUGE guy needing his ass ripped. He left pretty quick though. See ass, can rip.

YEP. Didn't go over quite the way he imagined.