Well, I'm a fat woman of a certain age (never had kids), but I have been known late at night at the grocery store> <after midnight at a 24 hr store>, to park in the stork parking places and do the pregnancy waddle into the grocery store.

My mother sent me a few Particulate Respirator Surgical Masks along with a crazy paranoid note about me being in danger because I'm so close to the border (I'm in Nevada...we kind of border Utah/Arizona I guess?) and ebola being ***airborne***. Not sure if I'm supposed to wear these masks all the time or only when I…

It would have to be more exact that England man. The British take distinctness quite seriously. It would have to be something like, "Yorkshire man" or "Manchester man" or village idiot.

I learned that from the Duggars. Hey, maybe he wants his own reality show! Working title: I Fought the Law and My Balls Won.

I knew hoarding is a problem for some, but didn't realize it could also take this shape.

Sheesh. Kids are never happy. "Mommy, I want a pet." And, here, the mother didn't give her just one but several pets. Plus, they were self-feeding.

Old tapeworm joke we used to tell when I was a kid:

I had similar issues recently. ATT wanted to charge me WAY too much to renew my plan and add another data plan to my second line. I have a grandfathered plan with unlimited data and was advised to never give it up. I just wound up buying an unlocked smartphone and instead of adding on another data plan, I use the main…

Adorable!!!!

Xanax is our trophy.

My understanding of why AT&T cut their unlimited data was because the existing infrastructure couldn't handle people just gorging on data, and it was adversely affecting network quality. On cell networks I get limiting data, since whole thing is relatively new and more vulnerable to overuse. Where I get my pitchfork…

I'd be okay with the plan I've got with AT&T right now (2 gigabytes per month for something like 30 bucks) if I got rollover data. Most months I barely break a gigabyte of data. But when I'm on a trip out of WiFi range a couple times a year I could really use the extra few gigs I've accumulated. But I'm sure AT&T…

Black, female, 22, and liberal and I totally believe that only winners should get trophies.

And we worked so goddamn hard in an eight-hour shift for two dollars, which back in those days, could get you a movie ticket, a cherry phosphate from the soda jerk, and a can of Prince Albert!

I actually worked for a carrier and still work in the industry. There's the industry stance on it (running out of spectrum!) and the response from skeptics (fix it!). Both are legitimate to some degree.

Ohh, gotta see this little one. At my local shelter....I want.

I learned from a 45-year-old country song exactly why God made girls: to tell off the shaming bigots of the Harper Valley PTA.

"Gov. Rick Perry, R-Texas, turned himself in Tuesday afternoon to be booked and have his mug shot taken at the Travis County Justice Center . . ."

Did anyone shoot him on his way in? He looks like he just committed a felony. You know, just curious.

They were just moving in and putting things in kitchen cabinets so they must've already closed on it but STILL! They bitched about it for a bit and then moved on. Every time they show a scene in that new house I say to myself, "But what about the rats?!"

Meanwhile, the mold in the house is calling up and getting quotes for a Kardashian removal service.