The pink fascinator is sublime. I want him to make me cardboard hats next.

This string might be the most hilarious thing I have ever read on Jezebel. So for that, little bitter misogynist, I salute you:

OMG, I just had my first ever literal spit take with that. Wiping green tea off my monitor through guffaws. That was awesome.

Sex is for pleasure, enjoyment and (in some cases) the profound expression of love? Hmmm. I thought it was for the transmission of 24-carat golden seed to the cold- I mean pure- as driven snow vaginal receptacle for the purposes of passing on genetic code to the future leader of a Master Race?

Awesome. Good luck finding that perfect brood mare to receive your holy seed. I'm sure she will love you—-uh, strike that—- your money a whole lot. I wish you much success on your marriage—-uh, strike that—- Faustian bargain.

Just out of sick curiosity, how did you arrive at the number 3? And do you have a test for determining just how many men have penetrated your future wife? Because sure as shit any woman worth her salt would lie straight to your self-righteous face about her number.... Of course, no woman worth her salt would wind up…

Holy Yogurt: Greatest. Band. Name. Ever.

Fair enough... really, the bulk of my issue is the center of attention thing. It makes me squirrelly. I LOVE throwing parties and playing hostess, but I loathe having all eyes (and camera lenses) on me as I do any kind of "performance"- like reciting vows. Yuck! Him, me, Justice of the Peace then a big party... that…

Aw, that is sweet. That'd be SO hard if my fiance ever said that to me, because I really really really don't want a wedding (I loathe being the center of attention and having my photo taken)...but how do you say no if it matters so much to him? Le sigh. Hope I wind up meeting someone who will love running off to a…

I would rather commit seppuku than have a wedding (the outrageous expense! all the people watching me! the dresses with sizes 2 up from retail that make anyone over a size 4 feel like a cow! the guest list that somehow has to include that aunt you hate! forcing your friends to buy dresses they will never wear again at…

Spectacular use of man hours! I bet the 4,976 meetings that went into that execution were a heretofore undiscovered circle of hell. I'm surprised there wasn't a reality show to go along with it, "Choosing a Font!" episode 5, "When Exclamation Points Tilt."

Ayup. I LOVE Smart Bitches Trashy Books.

LOUD NOISES.

Remove "shamefully"! Nothing shameful about reading any sexy stuff, not even the execrable 50 Shades, loathe it though I do for its horrible misconstruing of abuse with BDSM. I hid my reading proclivities for so long (hating the reaction of "you're a Harvard English major, how could you read that *shit*?" by people…

Will check out Tiffany too. I tend more towards the supersexy romance than straight erotica (i.e. I want me some modern or Victorian/Regency plot), and have no interest in fantasy or supernatural or vampires, etc. My latest favorite is Elle Kennedy. She writes some blisteringly hot stuff, and her latest actually…

I haven't read it, but will check it out (I am writing erotic romance myself and always up to see how others do it- plus, I just enjoy reading sexy stuff ;). Will weigh back in when done. Thanks!

I see your hot chocolate licking perfection and raise you Dave Salmoni:

Are you sure HE had both hands to type, considering he's so busy looking at pictures of scantily clad teenage girls (for the good of his sons, of course)?

Right?!?! And THERE is a great example set for the Hall boys.