I’m pretty bowled over by a lot of the replies here and how many stars they’ve gotten. It makes me wonder how many “one-time” cheaters there are...

Some people are so focused on getting what they’re due that they don’t stop to think about what’s right.

Thank you for your perspective. I think you did the right thing, and I’m very happy that it all worked out well for you and your partner.

Totally, we should absolutely have these difficult conversation. They don’t even have to be difficult, just chat it out when a storyline pops up on tv or whatever. The most important thing is that it’s your choice and your agency.

Cheating on your new bride and forgetting about it isn’t exactly a low bar for safely calling someone an asshole.

Yeah, sex addiction may very well be real and recognized in DSM VI, but too often it seems like a convenient excuse for men’s bad behavior.

What does any of that have to do with his wife and her self-determination?

Why in the world should we trust the word of someone who has already proven himself untrustworthy? I see no reason to believe that he’s truly moved on and is committed to her. Maybe she caught him watching some truly revolting porn and going to a self-help club is her condition to remaining in the relationship and not…

Not telling her is denying her the opportunity to leave him and find a better than decent relationship with a man who will respect her from the beginning. The pain is already there, looming in the background. The act(s) have already been committed. I think the deception, breach of trust, and the infantilization of a…

She’s clearly in the dark about the extent of his “problem.” Maybe she’s already at the end of her rope and that would be the last straw, she deserves to know that he’s even worse than she thinks he is. He should let her go.

This guy sounds like human trash that she should drag out to the curb. So he spares her some temporary anguish, but how much anguish is there ahead of her if she stays with this man? Yank off the bandaid!

I think we’re missing all of the things that the letter writer left out that make him look even worse.

He doesn’t get to determine his own repentance and he doesn’t get to decide if she’s ok with “only” getting cheated on “once” (lol I’ve got a bridge to sell you), as a newlywed no less. She is the only one who gets to decide that.

Yup. Sounds like it would cause him harm if she were to know because it would increase the chances of her leaving his ass and finding a better man. Anyway, it sounds like he needs a lot of work, from an actual professional, before he could be in a respectful relationship with a woman. As it stands he has her walking…

“Soon after my wife and I were married, 4 years ago, I had sex with a woman at a club in Panama where I had a work assignment for a month. I promptly forgot all about it until I started the Sex Addicts Anonymous program last year.”

Mmm hmm. It’s also not made by a child making $2/hr. I think you’d find that your acrylic Target crap would cost quite a bit more otherwise.

What is wrong with these people?!? Why do they think these things are ok? (Suspect a degree of narcissism is at play here.)

I did not! Hell no.

I don’t know what there is to do about people like that. I don’t understand how their brains work.