You know who I miss?

One of my favorite pastimes on Jezebel is finding my fellow OG D-Listed readers. I miss the days when it was just Michael K.

Detective Latoya - never forget.

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it’s more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.

To the best damn door holder..

I’m not sure if Brienne has ever been looked at by a handsome man like that. But he wasn’t staring at boobs or a butt, he was awestruck by all of her. Who is this steel plated goddess!

I’m pregnant now and my ultrasound is next Friday. For my gender reveal I’m having a cake covered in Swiss meringue, and when I cut it open the surprise is there is no cake, the meringue is just a hollow shell because gender is a construct.

As soon as I found out I was having a girl, I started wearing a pink bow in my pubic hair.

I’m just having everyone who wants to know pay me $5. Including my husband.

This reminds me of a convo a friend had with someone who has five children.

God bless whatever breakup world you have lived in where you never once have post-breakup sex with your ex.

Is it too much to hope that it’s Melania and literally any Muslim or Latino actor on the market?

I just honestly tried to imagine Trump winning the elections. It’s just the worst nightmare scenario. Not just for the US, but for the world. Would he really be able to do some of the stuff he is saying? Would Congress and Senate be able to stop his idiotic plans? I’m.... worried. Worried that America would rather…

There should be a sequel to The Craft where Robin Tunney is now a happily married mother and one day Fairuza Balk shows up, with her powers back, on a mission to destroy her life, so Tunney has to start a new coven with Neve Campbell and Rachel True to stop her.

Like The Hand That Rocks the Cradle or a V.C. Andrews…

I never saw Space Jam and I don’t care. What even is it? Basketball in zero gravity? With a bunny? I don’t get it.

Camp Nowhere FOREVA

Royal Family Conspiracy Theory-When the queen dies or steps down both Charles and William will abdicate and make Harry the king. He is beloved, involved, and the correct royal to transition the UK away from the monarchy. Plus, how long since they've had a ginger King? It's time!

Hold up, I got a better one:

As a young woman, I am sure I would have suffered from labia insecurity mainly due to the easy accessibility of porn by everyone, everywhere, 24/7. However, as a woman in my late 30s, I am old enough and wise enough to know that any man I give access to my business is generally pretty damn happy to be there. I so wish…

So I think, if my daughter tells me some guy she’s was fooling around with made a comment about her labia, I’m going to print him a chart showing what they actually look like, and explain to the fucker that what he saw in the porn was only one of many ways in which a woman can look. And if I have a son, he'll be…