The stadium experience will make you a rabid hater of whoever’s playing at home. People are at their most utterly barbaric when they’re at football games, where all of their socially-unacceptable ape tribe mentality is allowed to be let out in a three-hour catharsis.

I believe the correct phrasing is “assholes are pissed.”

Wait, so, if I buy this I can be one of the trendy people!?

I’m surprised you knew how to go to a website.

I heard he once posed as a janitor at a college. He was supposed to assassinate this counselor guy who was secretly working for the Dutch Foofarah. Instead he fell in love with the guy. Some other agent, who was posing as a student, attempted to set him straight and instead got pelted with apples from Bourne and his…

There’s just like, no excuse to google 4 letters and a punctuation mark... so please have this polite insult to your intelligence!

Ahh, wow. You’re “too stubborn” (read: LAZY) to google an acronym (which may be one of the fucking easiest things to do on a computer) but you’ve got the gumption to call the author out in a paragraph that you took the time to write for being lazy and using an internet acronym?

Titty Lovin’ Donut Receptacle.

Too Late; Died Reading.

Emmett, I love your picks but you can’t use the word clittings anymore. It’s the 21st centipede.

“... the only difference between him and a Republican is that he says he’s not one.”

The State of Florida is a breeding ground for criminals. It is America's dong.

This is somehow Urban Meyer’s fault.

I mean, it’s in Florida...

Soda addicts aren’t usually so productive.

NOTICE ME TINA SENPAIIIII! 😶😶😍

I am a pawn to my wallet.

ASU SORORITY GIRL: Okay, girls! Say “Cheese!” on three!

Great article.

...or both?