Correction: An earlier version of this post mistakenly identified White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer as “Sean Sphincter.” We deeply regret the error.

Spicer is the annoying, anal douche. Stephen Miller is nerd seeking revenge. Trump is the bully. Kellyanne, the social climbing bitch.

I wonder if he had to go to an analrapist to sort out his feelings from this horrible case of bullying. Boston’s not too far from CT...

Talk about needing to unclench. Dude was a tad bit anal about that joke. Loosen up, Rosebud.

Oh gawd, and of course Twitter has given us THE greatest comeback of all time:

I was just musing on that!— He still has a kind of shiny baby face, and yet he still looks decrepit and threadbare. My theory was that it was the longstanding combination of conservative thought, hatred, evil, and cinnamon gum.

Once a tool always a tool, you just know he complained about pot smoke and loud music from dorms also. I can see him getting all flustered by the partying while he was trying to write his latest paper for the campus young Republicans club. Douche

I don’t know about that. A real asshole serves an actual purpose.

Hey you try being regular when you swallow that much gum.

Asshole by nature, asshole by name I guess?

Ok, so now I shall refer to him as Sean Smeagol Sphincter.

Sean is way too uptight, he needs to loosen up a bit.

Class of ‘93? He looks like he’s 60 years old!

Much like the rest of the Trump administration. Sean really knows how to pick his battles.

I thought Republicans were all about personal freedoms and not giving handouts... “working to ban smoking in a dining hall, fighting for cable TV in the dorms” hardly seem to echo that.

And yet he doesn’t appear to have learned how to avoid the Streisand Effect, in spite of such specific personal experience with it. Perhaps it should be renamed “The Sphincter Effect.”

So, let me take a look at you. Your face is very pinched and forward, like a sphincter. You know, it’s very… It’s tight and it’s dark. We can change all that!

The name seems to fit nicely in this administration.