I have a used condom tattooed on my arm. I mean, I could go on, but would it help?

Did it fall apart because you flexed? And it just tore apart on its own? I’ve always dreamed of that happening. (To me. Not to a 10-year-old boy.)

Commenting was a site function that was forced upon me by Lockhart Steele as a Gawker Media initiative. (I hated those.) So we agreed that the only people who could comment on the site were people who were personally invited by me: I had to send them a link and everything. I required people to send me essays…

To be fair, I think we’re all forgetting about the Huckabee Corollary, which states that gay people are gross and icky and have special gay cooties, allowing for one to discriminate against them. You know, science.

I will not pay my parking ticket then because it’s not right. I don’t believe in parking meters.

Come on guys, don’t be dicks. Make it for $599.99. He won’t need to fill out a W-9 then, and you won’t need to issue him a 1099.

[bounces]

No, you’re not the only one noticing the pre-existing wang in those shorts.

Racism in Oklahoman problem and an American problem. You say "really, any Southern university," but as someone who grew up in a blue state but went to school in the South (Roll Tide), I wouldn't try to rationalize this as something wrong with the South/Oklahoma/red states because it's certainly not unique to those…

Already left this on the Gawker crosspost but doesn't anyone feel that this is an Oklahoma problem (and really, any Southern university) rather than JUST a frat problem?

This has literally nothing to do with Mail but since it's an OS X post and I can't figure out how to write to you all directly, here goes haha: in Yosemite, I've noticed that deleting attachments in Messages doesn't always work. I've tried to clear out the pictures/videos/etc. from my message strings and it usually…

OK, youare either someone I know or the gift doppelganger of someone I know. She gives baskets like that and they are fucking awesome. She's also a big snail mail fan and all around a very sweet and thoughtful person.

As someone who has designed and given gift baskets numerous times over the last 25 years, I can promise you Gift Basket Dude spent more than $30 on its contents. My only concession to the Newlywed beeyotches would have been to fill it with the little annoyances people tend to register for - colander, wine opener,…