Romeo killed himself when he thought Juliet killed herself. This ass did no such think when the young woman in this sad story killed herself at 20.

Jane Seymour says “6. I was useless [in] P.E. I could only climb a rope” and I just had nightmare flashbacks to being 3 inches up the rope, feeling like I was 6 feet up the rope and hoping I don’t fart on the rope holder aaaaaand I’m done, my arms gave out.

I thought he *was* Kourtney’s ass.

Those Gs look like Js - jod jave me you. Also like she went to WalMart Express Tat-Ooohing

No, it was Koval, and at the time they had spelt, millet, wheat, and oatmeal in single-grain whiskies.

That’s his Alive Girl that he left his wife for. Win-win all around!

I went to a tasting from a distillery that had several kinds of single grain whiskies, like spelt and oatmeal. I had fallen hard for the oatmeal one, so wanted to try the others. I can’t believe this, but I’m not going to diss Paltrow for quinoa whiskey. As long as she drinks it and keeps it away from her cooch.

From Hobby Lobby’s Live-Laugh-Loot collection!

I clicked the Anderson Cooper link hoping to see babby pics, but got ... Ted Nugent? I want the last few minutes of my life back!

Wait til Demi hears there are governing bodies around the world called “diets.”

Baby carrots are diet culture. Fight me.

Coffee is already skinny. Back in the first couple years of RHONY, I liked Bethenny and pulled for her. No more, and I’m sure she’s feeling the ice from my abandonment.

A coworker’s partner had a hell of a time finding someone to give her a hysterectomy. She finally got someone to agree and for insurance to say OK, but that was after trying other “remedies” for her issues.

Early gen-Xer here who wore a simple strapless McClintock to prom. I loved that dress, though honestly it did nothing for me. The color wasn’t great for me, etc. She sure knew how to dominate the prom section.

That’s just boys and locker room talk. Now back to criticizing women...

Yeah, the true crime is that makeup job.

That’s my senator! <3

I’m sure I’m not alone in saying, I would love to see your great grandparents wedding photo!

“you can’t do irony in the United States anymore”—a sister to the classic male comedian refrain that “the U.S. is too politically correct for comedy these days.”

If anyone actually wants to SEE a baby, don’t click on the Orlando link. Baby is fully in a pack, no little babby cheeks in sight. You will see Orlando’s muscular and oddly hairless thighs. I’d rather see a baby.