You’re my hero. That is awesome.

Ow, so that means my good times on Jezebel are over... Thanks for the warning!

Perhaps that’s what went wrong with my mom - back when she was still self-aware, her brain shifted a couple of times too much.

My mom said exactly the same to me throughout my life. Even though I was skinnier than was healthy up until a couple of years ago and knew it, that just stuck with me.

WTF.

She is and always has been a bit crazy, unfortunately. It’s far from the worst thing I’ve had to hear from her over the years, but at least I know where this one comes from; she’s just jealous because she lost her skinny figure thanks to the antidepressants she’s had to take.

Does creepy and totally uncalled for count as well?

Also her: crying, like, legit crying when I came back from the hairdresser with bangs one day.

“You eat too much, no wonder you’re fat” - Mom. Fairly recently, as I have been severely underweight for most of my life and gained a bit of weight as soon as I left home to go live on my own. I’m finally healthy but she doesn’t see it that way.

But WHY? What’s the use of making everyone wear clothes that are too small? I don’t get it...

For fuck’s sake, dude. First of all, unless I made a major mistake with the convertion, 135lbs is average, not fat at all (depending on height, though, probably). Second, if it’s impossible to breathe when having sex with someone above 135lbs, think about how much suffering you must be imposing on your partners with…

I have a story to add. TW: DMs and players who believe rape is hilarious.

I wish I could star this more than once. I have been saying this exact same thing (minus the personal experience) for ages, yet everyone keeps blabbering on about how it’s about censorship...

Is pistachio a rare flavour in the US? Here in Belgium I’ve never even seen an ice cream vendor that didn’t have pistachio.

GROSS.

I read that as “butter shit” at first. Don’t ask me how.

“Don’t you know? Acne on girls is sexy, the more they have the better so you’re like, the queen of sexiness” DUDE I HAD ONE LITTLE PIMPLE. Gross, dude, gross.

Oh, oh, I have one of those! “If you wear something like that, of course people are going to think you’re a slut. You’re lucky I have such great self-restrain”

They always sound so rapey, don’t they?

I know that monologue all too well. Like, the dude was ugly as fuck (inside and out) and somehow I should be grateful because he “could get better looking girls than me” (at the time I would’ve described my looks as “slightly below average” and his as “waaaay below average”, and now I’m not as insecure as I was back…

“All gypsies steal... No wait, all the OTHER gypsies, not you, you’re not even really a gypsy”. Goddammit dude, I may be able to pass for white (my dad’s 3/4 Roma so it’s true that I’m not a “real” one but still) but that doesn’t make it okay to insult my family like that...