Mr. Stine, can I please have forgiveness for cheating on all of your choose your own adventure stories? I hardly even went back to the beginning and reread and would just hold my finger in between the pages where the story diverted. I know that this is not how real-life is structured, and I feel that I have impugned…

They buried them in the hidden crypt in your basement, along with your Uncle Marty.

Make sure you're mostly bald.

Never. I outline each book. I know what's going to happen.

The Goosebump stories are what started my reading addiction. I would have to have every, and I mean EVERY new book that came out. I read them until their covers came off. I honestly don't remember what my parents did with them. Do you have any idea what my parents did with them?

Omg you made my teen years complete. I am looking forward to one day giving my kiddo your books!

R.L. Stine wrote words to me.

The writing in the original piece is bad, I will give you that. Wow. And not 'academic' at all. Jargony, for sure. But I think it's wrong to dismiss so casually the core point that basic does join a long list of dismissive terms applied to women almost exclusively (as your notes on the etymology support). We never…

It's because those are the spices you use in pumpkin pie. So "pumpkin spice" latte". Not "pumpkin latte" or "pumpkin pie latte". Pumpkin in coffee would be disgusting.

My problem with the whole "basic bitch" thing is that I DO think it's sexist. And not just towards white women (that's a little crazy) but towards all women. It's yet another way to categorize women. Also, it's just juvenile. Like, who gives a fuck if some chick likes leggings and lattes?

I like AHP a lot, but half her schtick is overthinking stuff. It's just what she does. I don't think she can choose a breakfast cereal without first examining the class privileges, sociocultural implications and what debating the choice of Count Chocula vs. Kashii says about her perspective as a modern woman.

Your best bet is to like what you like and realize that anyone who calls you "basic" is a gigantic walking chode that you are better off ignoring anyways.

I'm with you! It's insecure to worry about what people think of you. "Oh no, do people think I'm a Basic Bitch/Cool Girl/Manic Pixie Dream Girl/etc.?" And it's insecure to point out other people's shortcomings. "Look, everybody, there's a basic bitch. I noticed because I'm so unique and complicated and different and…

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"It is because they simply do not like the same shit that you like."

No you did NOT get a STD from a toilet seat. Nor did you take 10th grade health apparently.

GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR TAMPON PRIVILEGE

Sorry about your illusions, but women are DISGUSTING. It's the best kept secret in the history of civilization.

People that hover are the reason toilets are so gross. You people are creating the problem! It's disgusting. If I'm forced to use a toilet that's covered in piss, I wipe it down (because the person before me was too lazy to clean up their own fucking mess), and then use a toilet seat cover or put a layer of toilet…

I don't always, but when I do, it's because the pooping muscles were ejecting the tampon anyway.

#thingsionlysayonline