You missed Kate Hudson's family (plus Cara Delevigne) four part video dance series!

OF COURSE KANYE'S WEDDING INVITATION IS IN ALL CAPS. OF COURSE IT IS. ALL THAT'S MISSING IS A RANT AT THE BOTTOM ABOUT WHAT A DICK JIMMY KIMMEL IS.

So all I have to do is have a crazy, highly publicized breakdown or become a teen mom and I can tap it James? Note. to. self: do those things.

If you accept that she's mentally ill, perhaps the ethical stance would be for Jezebel to stop live blogging her nervous breakdown.

Doesn't see what all the fuss is about.

Pretentious and paranoid. Nice.

Oh come on don't be such a pussy..

No idea but I hope it's called boysenberry.

You guys, this is what Bieber's tattoo looks like, so you don't have to click through.

Oh fuck this guy and fuck this dumb paper who devotes more time to his dumb horny journal than her miscarriage.

Okay. Regarding that Belly Flop spread. Did they HONESTLY have the gall to include a contestant from the Biggest Loser? Are you fucking kidding me? Obviously this person has had a long struggle with weight, AND they are not even a celebrity in the traditional "Hollywood pays you to be pretty" (that's a separate issue)…

Que the posts from dudes informing us that they LOVE a woman with a little extra weight on her, not these skeletons that the media loves, and this is just women being bitches to other women (favorite lady activity number 1, narrowly beating out yogurt eating and nagging)

Since we're a gaggle of Canucks here, how bloody amazing was k.d. lang's speech at the Juno Awards on Sunday? Thoroughly humble and generous as well as very grateful to Canada and Canadians for allowing her to fly her *freak flag* as she set out on the road to fame, this woman can make me cry happy tears — thanks to…

Gotta be honest with you, this reads like those painfully meta news headlines that makes me want to dropkick a barrel of puppies off a balcony.

Oh my god, she's a literal "woman laughing with salad."

Who broke up Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore? THURSTON MOORE. Unless I'm mistaken, he was a willing participant in this and made those decisions that lead to his own breakup. I'm really disappointed that Jezebel would slut shame this woman, who now lives in internet infamy as a home wrecker. ugh ugh ugh.

And yet not one word about how drinking and driving is wrong, wrong, wrong.

Can we add to this: fuck the local news anchor who's citing Chechnya as a haven of potential American terrorists ON MY TV, RIGHT NOW?

There aren't enough swears.

I was part of this commercial too but I didn't make the cut because when they told me I was ugly I stripped naked and destroyed the whole set.