outcast “coalitions” of two to four male lions don’t get to have sex with females until their take over a pride.

When I was a dipshit organizer, every couple of weeks one of the members would drive to one of the neighborhood’s many trash-choked alleys, which the city refused to clean, and load a bunch of trash into the back of his pickup. We’re talking old bags of kitchen garbage, moldering furniture, scrap metal, you name it.…

You’re right. When someone much smaller than me being held back by 2 other people touches me I should be able to hit them as hard as possible.

I’m guessing those Blue Lives Matters assholes are going to be conflicted as all hell. On the one hand, they’re going to argue that the drunk chick had it coming. On the other, black guy. Truly a Sophie’s choice situation for them.

Not to trigger all the Blue Lives Matter assholes out there, but there is no reason for him to hit her like that. Act like you’re the one, you know, in charge.

Donald is holding Melania’s hand, whether she wants it held or not. Her hand makes almost a fist (and would be a full fist if she weren’t borrowing black panther’s claws for the Pearl Harbor visit). You can’t clasp hands with someone’s fist, so Donald has to make due with the ball of fingers.

My stomach clenches when I see the title FLOTUS and it’s Melania. Michelle O will always be my FLOTUS!

Conservatives:
My business is successful because of my personal accomplishments.
My business failed because of your politics.

You know, when I was a kid back in the early ‘80s and thought about what the year 2017 would be like it had a lot more flying cars and robot butlers and a lot fewer arguments about racist pizza and fans of a cartoon show screaming at minimum wage fast food workers because they ran out of sauce.

Don’t eat Papa John’s. He’s still a racist, but he just wants to be less overt about it. It’s not for nothing that Nazi numbnuts chose his pizza

I thought the alt-right already had an official greasy, orange pile of garbage that makes your stomach cramp just by looking at it

Just saying, Caroline Wozniacki got dumped by Rory McIlroy after their wedding invitations had already gone out, so she can do whatever she damn well pleases as far as engagement ring photos go; if it makes her happy then what’s it to you? More importantly, this article is unnecessarily crappy for making some big…

“Guys should treat women better!”

Counterpoint: Do what you want, and don’t listen to rando bloggers.

Because you are disgusting.

Marc Davis: [communicates entirely in Minions reaction GIFs]

Irsay: we partyin or waht

Glad to see the NFL police are conducting a fair investigation.

Group text:

So, so many pics of old man balls are in some intern’s future.