A couple of the guys I support always had me set up the dial in for a standing conference call they held every couple of months, ,because they insisted they "didn't know how." But I didn't realize they didn't know how to hang up a phone. After the call was over, two women wandered into the empty conference room and…

Once again I get to say "ha ha ha!" because we eloped to Barbados and didn't invite anyone! Saved me a lot of hassles, not the least of which was not having to explain fifty times that no, children aren't welcome at the ceremony.

THIS is the "family values" they're teaching that herd of kids, America. Think about that. Don't go on and on to me about how life is precious and then do this to a small helpless animal. It makes you a hypocrite in my eyes. And anyone who mistreats (or jokes about) mistreating or hurting a small creature is an…

I've been told more than once that Black Honey is "universally flattering" and "looks good on everyone." It does not look good on me. At all. Nothing that's every been sold to me that way has ever worked out and I need to just stop.

If I hear "that's because you've never had MY <insert thing I hate>!" one more time, I will scream.

Well I'll be craving Hard Times the rest of the week. Dammit.

"A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy."

I try to be most of the time.

Here's my dressing table. It's not a recent photo; now I have an awesome magnifying mirror rather than that little plastic one. But I like it.

I keep randomly tearing up. I've been a fan of pretty much everything the man did (he ran a pet shop in the 70s!) since I was a little girl watching the Original Series...it's unimaginable to me right now that he's not in the world somewhere.

"Handing the child to a trained professional also provides an opportunity to determine whether the mother simply needs financial support or other help to develop a parenting plan."

I've done that, actually. And HATED IT which is why I'm very protective of my black lip liner. I've never found another one.

Lets!

I have two black MAC lipsticks. The regular one is called Black Knight and the mattene formula is...I forget. I also have one of their Disney Villans glosses that's almost black - it's so dark purple, it might as well be. And then there's Urban Decay Oil Slick, which is a little more sheer. I also have a black lip…

Former West Virginia girl here, now living (and taking public transportation!) in Arlington, VA. Where we have been experiencing some record cold temperatures lately. Back in West Virginia, I used to bitch and moan about how they never plowed or treated the roads (especially if they cancelled school). But I was…

People already do this in the checkout line. Every single day.

Ha ha ha NO ONE because we eloped! We didn't even decide to get married until a about two months before we were set to leave on an already planned island getaway.

I didn't know that skinny meant non fat and sugar free. I learned something today, yay!

My husband planned our Barbados trip to coincide with VD in the States. I hate the holiday, and always have. We figured 1) it's cold where we live, so island, yay! and 2) it might not be as big there. It was only a month before the trip that we realized it would be super cheap and easy to get married there. He…

...I have to ask exactly how hot these chicken fingers were....