The first time I was proposed to ... it wasn't even a proposal. We were nineteen and my parents were, for good reason, being assholes ... so he said something like, "So let's go down to Arkansas where my Dad lives and he'll stand up with me and we'll get this over." We'll "get this over"? Okay then ...

The second…

My sisters best friend was just proposed to by my brother in laws little brother. Yes. They are soon to be best friends/ sister in laws. He slipped the ring around a Taco Bell spice packet that read "Would you marry me" and nestled it between their burrito and crunch wrap supreme...........

This may have changed, but when I was in France many years ago I noticed that many of the beauty mags had articles about American women's beauty habits. For real, they were all about getting that fabulous, clean and fresh American girl look. Apparently it works both ways, making American women feel inferior to French…

I'm an old and have gotten used to the idea that the selfie is here to stay, your dinner last night looked fucking fantastic and I want to try it, and congratulations on the birth of your puppies, that third one looked so cute once Mamadog cleaned it off.

All I'm hearing is that it's only called "extra support" when you're a woman. Being a man and belonging to golf clubs, intraoffice groups and committees, having older male mentors - that's just all part of the job. If a woman does these things, it's a secret cabal of vaginas. If a man is on a leadership committee…

To be fair, I had a dream where my ex pushed me out of the bed and I fell into a wormhole. Then I woke up and pushed him out the bed.

Good on my husband. When I have told him that Dream!Him did something awful he always apologizes. Usually I find this funny. Why on earth should he apologize? He didn't do anything. My brain worked an image of him like a puppet and made him do terrible things. He never actually stole all the pudding and called me fat.…