Probably. But if you’re going to have an animal control department, as they do, you should probably use it.

Wait for animal control?

The animal is fine. It’ll wake up tomorrow and it’ll be like this never happened.

You kneel for the anthem, you disrespect this hero.

That’ll teach that buck-toothed asshole not to predict an early Spring again.

So if the kid didn’t really have Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, that means he has non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.. which is way worse

Everyone just misunderstood, the family said that the NCAA is a cancer and it’s making the kid sick.

Fucking hell im a Syracuse fan and I don’t even want to meet the Syracuse football team. Get some better dreams fake-a-wish kid.

How many assists did Roomba have?

Shamelessly posting this again because it still applies.

Drake: [heads home]

“Let’s get this straight first off: the Raptors were dead the moment LeBron James was...”

Obligatory.

Is that a picture of two different people?

I’d just like to use this space to say that somehow the Detroit Lions are probably the Detroit team that’s best and has the brightest future right now and that makes me immensely sad and I would please like 500 drinks.

The game of Lava, Mustang, Crowds is a lot like Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Parked then ran

What kind of F1 style-megasoft compound are you using on a street car that turning the tire while stopped is creating any kind of noticeable flat-spot?

Britt is spending a lot of time getting ethered on social media recently

In closing, we only have about 3 weeks left