Why didn't he abort?

Two teams. One cup.

Man, I had a feeling this was going to be Messi.

It means 4 out 5 Americans that read USA Today, are racists.

But what do all those Cardinals fans wear during playoff games? Oh. You wouldn't know.

I'm gonna have to disagree on many points. The way I have been able to almost completely remove driving angst and rage from my life in the past was to switch from fast cars to flabby cars with cruise controls, add an excellent sound system, roll down the windows and let an elbow hang out while cruising at a medium…

Figures Rice couldn't manage more than 3 yards on this carry

According to Goldey, the anonymous person had told someone, "I don't want my kids around those kinds of people."

how miniature was the photographer?

You can have whatever type of child you want.
As long as it's healthy.

Found her...

I'm not sure what part of that made the guys from Century 21 come in and try to sell her a house.

That's the first good kick by Bama in a while

The only tip missing would have to be hand protection, but other than that oyster knives are the only tool you should ever use to open the guys.

Gonna speak up for our Apalachicola oysters. I've had them from the top to the bottom of the East Coast & many West Coast ones, & have yet to find anything that matches the Apalachicola Bay ones. There are ones from the other side of Florida, too, south of St. Augustine, that I've enjoyed quite a bit.

[silently awaits KrampusCon]

HOPI likes sitting at the kid's table!

"Boy is my face red" -Rick Reilly

The entire holiday period is going to suck for the whole family— no one is getting anything for Xmas besides blankets.

After painting I-don't-remember-how-many rooms (multiple homes, helping my dad in his remodeling business, etc.) I've come to realize the difference between painters tape and wall/ceiling edges: painters tape is straight, edges are not. Not ever. I don't care how good the drywall guy was, there's still always a small…