“who would be stupid enough to sign a contract basically blocking you from working for so many years.”

Wait until Jezebel and Gawker get a hold of this.WHAT BATHROOMS WILL THEY GET TO USE?!!!!! WHY ISN’T THIS ROBOT BLACK?!!!!

Maybe you already saw Star trek Beyond & forgot.

Are we sure we haven’t seen anything about this movie? I saw that last one and could not tell you a single thing about it.

A bunch of people on the internet who haven’t played the game yet are angry about something they haven’t experienced, but saw in a screenshot. That’s it! That does it for me. I had such high hopes but now it’s obvious this game is going to be terrible!

I'm terribly confused. I thought it was racist garbage that should never have been made...

You’re Not as Conscious as You Think You Are

I like to give citation-free rants full of spurious so-called facts too!

But . . . how do fish keep the ketchup from dissolving into the water?

I’m just brainstorming here.

And please oh sheperd of the lost, guide me to a better tier so i can stop trying to carry these bronze n00bs and save me from this hell

Might as well just get this written up now:

But can it build you a bridge to V’ger?

I love my trophy screenshots of blank loading screens.

theory: this is how he launders his big vape money

“In 1820, a sperm whale attacked and sank the Essex, a whaling ship from Massachusetts.”

Except, in Blue Origin’s case, the dildo wasn’t built strong enough to do anything other than frustrate your mom.

Sure thing buddy

I’m just impressed someone had the sense to film this in landscape mode.

Okay guys, seriously. I know Spore was a pretty big damn disappointment, but -this- is not the way we handle our grief. Seriously. We don’t summon Cthulhu just because Crystal Pepsi was a thing.