That's nothing.

I dearly, dearly loved Heavenly Sword. Way more than I loved GoW (Kratos looks and sounds like the elemental personification of constipation. I mean really: Imagine being in the bathroom stall next to Kratos. That would be terrifying.).

I won't call you politically incorrect, I'll just point out that those are not the facts.

I dearly hope that at least part of the solution to these issues is Heavenly Sword 2.

I know. I'm all but doing the internet equivalent of duck-and-covering right now . . .

*Files nails, smirks*

True story: A DM in my childhood (i.e. early '90s) Dungeons and Dragons group once had us up against an Oreo Cookie Monster (wasn't called that exactly; I think it was like a mad baker/wizard's creation like 'cookie golem' or something). It flung gobs of cream at you that could blind you unless you took a full-round…

Whatever dude. I am a hardcore iPad gamer. SO excited for Baldur's Gate to drop on Friday. So NOT excited for Massassin's Effect Creed of Medal of Call of Halo of Black Modern Warfare Ops XVII Part 6B. Or the 19 pieces of obligatory DLC (just 16,500 Playbox Points!). Or the homophobe 13-year-olds I'll have the…

I like Bayonetta—including this figure—but at the same time . . . admit it: There's something very vaguely Sarah Palinesque about her. Just enough to make me pause and draw back slightly.

I want this about 1500% more than I would ever want a WiiU.

Mostly thigh-slappingly funny.

Oh and: How much more sober would drunk people act if there wasn't a well-known way in which drunks as 'supposed' to act?

Forsooth.