Mina Topley Bird of 404 was also the daughter of Martina Topley-Bird and Tricky.

I get the Sound of Music reference in the headline, but at first, I thought I was going to read that tying testicles with string was some kind of self torture practice that incels were into. 

I know! As if working in retail puts you in a high caste. 

DAMN.

I lost a lot of respect for Warwick when she publicly disregarded Whitney Houston’s claim that DeeDee Warwick molested her. Even though Houston’s brother said the same thing happened to him. 

Gabrielle Union is treasure and I would like to thank her for sharing that story. Cause it’s one for the books. #thatsoldnavy

“After an exhaustive search we ordered a giant, rubber, black cock to arrive the next day.”

Damn, 16 years ago. I feel old.

Emily Ratajkowski’s body is insane.

“While the fact she could serve time never leaves her mind, she strongly believes she doesn’t deserve to. She truly feels it was all a misunderstanding.”

I feel like this is the night Jeremy Scott really shines.

How is Rami’s twin, Sami doing?

When you’re mom insists on inviting her friends to your shower. 

I could not stop laughing throughout this article. Incredibly stupid shit.

this may be a bit insensitive to focus on this, but that woman in the picture is 18? 

“Jesse Nadler confirmed to Page Six that he and Lohan have split, just days after he proposed to her over Facebook.”

His clothes don’t fit properly.

JLo owned the early 00s. My summer look:

The pauses in the sentence used to mock someone else’s excitement makes you seem like an asshole. 

I know it’s mean. But the outside matches the inside.